I thought I would be the type of mum who would never hire a nanny. And here I am, sharing interview questions for one. Obviously, I have changed my mind. Why, you ask? Simply because hiring help will give me the time to do high-level management that gets ignored when 100% of my time is spent working on simple tasks. I have come to realize that a nanny will not only improve Casey’s upbringing, it will also facilitate the planning and organization needed to allow our family to thrive in the long-run. It is a no-brainer investment in our future. Before I share my interview questions, let me first share with you how it has been, and where I am at. If you wish, you can skip the jargon and go straight to the questions as the bottom of this post.
How It Has Been
Up until now, Mike and I have been raising Casey with the help of his grandparents and making do. I stay home Mondays and Thursdays and Mike works from home Tuesdays and Fridays. We’ve offset our Wednesdays so that he goes in at 7am and I go in at 11am, thereby leaving Casey alone with the grandparents for only half a day. I also go in for a half-day on Saturdays when Mikey is at home. Sunday is the only day all three of us are home together. In my head, this made the perfect workweek. I work a total of 3.5 days thereby leaving me with 3.5 days to be a mother. Although it has been working out so far, it’s not ideal.
You see, I am essentially working 100% of the time. Even though I am at home, I am still working. The only difference is that I wasn’t getting paid to do it. Parenthood isn’t a break from work, and this schedule left us longing for a bit of us-time and me-time. Without that space to be by ourselves, we were not recharging. I lost my flow, and thereby my way. I stopped doing the important work, which for me included writing, reading, and exercising.
At the same time, my standard of basic necessities were not being met. That’s what happens when you are taking care of a little human. Simple things such as brushing my teeth in the morning, cleaning the house, and even (gasp!) budgeting and bills were neglected. Yes. Brushing my teeth!!! WHO EVEN AM I??
I was spending too much of my time “working”, and I wasn’t doing high-level stuff like planning and organizing. We were spending more money on groceries because I didn’t have a list. We were paying for stuff out of convenience and to save time (mostly because I just forgot). I had to hire a cleaner not because I disliked cleaning, but where was the time? Essentially, the extra money I was making, I was burning through because there was no space or mental energy left to make better decisions. The truth was, I was more tired when I stayed at home than when I went into work. In fact, I cherished the days I worked. I got to “take a break”.
Where I Am At
For a long time, I thought that paying for a nanny was a waste of money. “We could do it,” I thought. This was mostly fueled by culture bias. I was taught by my parents that it is our job to raise our own children. My mom was a stay-at-home mom after all. And while I did not want to part with my work (keeping identity is a core value of mine), I still felt pressure to be 100% caregiver when I wasn’t at work. This was before I realized being at home was ridiculously more work than work itself. There came a point where I felt rock-bottom, exhausted, tired, over-stretched and under-performing in all areas of life. I needed space to regroup.
Now I realize that hiring part-time help allows for high-level activity such as recharging myself, optimizing cash flow, investing time and resources, and providing a healthy and happy home. I could budget again, plan for expenses, and even create fun activities for my focused and dedicated time to Casey. I am a firm believer in taking care of yourself so you can care for others.
Still, I wanted Casey to grow up with us around at all times. This is why we chose a part-time nanny over daycare. So we maintain our presence by having one parent home every day except Wednesday. We can always join in on the activities during the day if we want to. At the same time, we can focus on other tasks while she is here. The point is, we have options. And we are still around. But we have more time. Or at least, the time is more focused. Because we don’t have to deal with the little things like washing bottles, tidying the room, organizing his dresser, and folding laundry – I can plan for awake time activities, learn about starting solids, and research interactive baby products while he is asleep. Then when he is awake, I can still be with him.
In addition, we realized that grandparents should be grandparents, not caretakers. They should enjoy their grandchildren, having already put in the work when they were young. They shouldn’t carry the responsibility of child-rearing. This and for other reasons, we’ve decided to hire a part-time nanny. And we found one who is just like family! For those who are also looking, I am sharing the interview questions I gathered, in true fashion.
Interview Questions for a Nanny
Development
- What do you think a baby this age needs most?
- Do you believe baby and toddlers should be disciplined if at all? How?
- What developmental play do you recommend for kids this age?
- Do you use a lot of toys to play with your kids? If not, what are alternate activities?
- How would you teach a baby to crawl?
- Have you had experience with special needs kids? What are ways in which you’ve helped them grow?
Structure
- How do you see yourself spending the day with a baby this age?
- Are you good at sticking to schedules?
- What will you do during baby’s nap time?
- Tell me about how you would spend your ideal day with a baby this age. Be specific on activities you like to do with baby. We like to make a routine that works for you and baby.
- When the baby starts getting more active/getting into everything, how will you handle it?
- Are you a punctual person?
Skills
- Are you open to doing household chores and light cleaning while the baby is asleep?
- Are you certified in Baby CPR and First Aid Training?
- What is your experience with starting solids?
- How would you approach sleep training?
- Can you speak another language? Are you willing to speak to our child in only that language?
- How many kids did you watch at your last job?
- Do you know sign language?
Personal
- Do you have children of your own? Will they interfere with work?
- How will you give feedback to me? How are you with receiving honest feedback yourself? Open communication is key.
- Would you describe yourself as neat/organized or a bit messy?
- Are you physically fit to chase a toddler around? Are you in good health? When was your last medical exam and appropriate vaccinations?
- Is your schedule flexible?
- How much vacation do you generally take per year? Are there any coming up?
- Are you willing to travel with us for vacation and how do you wish to be compensated during travel?
- Are you generally comfortable with asking for help?
- How will you set boundaries around family and grandparents who may want to dictate what happens with baby?
- Do you feel comfortable taking charge of stressful situations?
- Is your caring for baby more grandmotherly or more about raising an independent child?
- What questions do you have for me?
I know some of these appear blunt, but in general I am usually upfront at the get-go. Watch out for red flags. Uncertainty or hesitation could indicate they are holding back. At the same time, have grace. Some of these nannies shine in performance, but may not interview well. Their expertise lies in dealing with children and babies, not necessarily adults. I always recommend a trial run prior to signing a contract. At the end of the day, go with your gut feeling. Interviews are merely an opportunity for you to get a feel for this person, who will essentially be an extension of your child’s family. Make sure it feels right. For our nanny interview, we knew right away!
Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash
