Small Space Living

Tip 02// There is ALWAYS room for a loved one

When we tell people that we are not ready to have children at this time, their next step is usually to inquire about the likelihood of us owning a pet. A feline friend or a canine, perhaps? To which we have shot them down with equal fervor, choosing our own privacy, space, and time over additional responsibility. Why would we want to complicate our lives after everything we’ve done to create space? What we didn’t know was that the universe had plans of their own, and decided that if we were not going to search for an animal to love, I suppose it was going to dump one on our laps, or rather, in the midst of our nightly walking path. I guess it’s a way to fill up the space that we’ve purposefully made room for, with things of meaning and value. After all, that’s what this life we created is all about.

As you can probably guess, we have added a new member to our home. Which begs the question of how to even begin thinking about bringing in an additional breathing being into small space living. The answer is simple and easy. Which is that there is always room for another loved one.

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We were still renting at the old loft and were doing our usual mid-summer night’s walk through the neighborhood, when this orange ball of fluff appeared out of nowhere, and approached us. He didn’t approach with hesitation or signs of fear. Boldy, this little guy walked right up to Mr. Debtist’s bare ankles meowing and literally head-butted him, an obvious indication that someone needing some pets. Mr. Debtist knelt down and gave him a little head pat, which was invitation enough for the fellah to continue purring and head-butting his way into our little hearts. After getting a minute’s love from Mr. Debtist, he came after me. Nudging me with his little ears and rolling over to get some belly pats, it was easy to see that he definitely was an affectionate little creature. Once ten minutes of giving him attention passed, we got up to continue our walk home, and he followed us for a ways, meowing his farewells.

After our first introduction, we started visiting him every night. He was reliably  found in front of the same door, which made us think that perhaps he was owned by someone else. However, the occasional interview with the neighbors taught us that he was a stray cat that appeared around the time we first saw him. One neighbor let him into his business front every morning for the entire day while he was working. When he left for home, he would put the kitty out. Another neighbor would feed the cat when she got home from work. When I asked her why she only fed him wet food, she told me it was because he was toothless, a dagger delivered straight to a debtist’s the heart. A third neighbor took the liberty to name him Tucker.

In mid-September, we closed on escrow! As we were preparing to move, my woes were mostly centered around leaving the loft that was our home the past two years. We started living in that loft before we were even married. We experienced so many moments with close friends and family, and on our own, too. We imagined we would buy one loft just like it in the area. But that’s not where life took us. It took us away from where we first set our roots to grow, and it took us away from that darned cat.

Of all the things I missed most about that place, I didn’t miss anything more than our feline friend. Admittedly, we made some ventures back to the old place for tying up loose ends, and looked forward to seeing his face. Each time, I feared someone else had fallen in love and taken him away from us. Each time, there was a moment I held my breath, in case we found him no longer there.

One week ago, we went on our usual visit, when a neighbor popped up from his balcony and tried to get us to take him home. He praised that cat and really pushed and shoved, but we didn’t budge. We weren’t interested in taking a cat in, or so we said. We would jokingly say, “Let’s take him home,” and look at each other and grin. Mike said he was down if I was serious, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure I was ready to give up space in our new home. Small enough as it is, where would a kitty scratch post go? Or a litter box? More importantly, where does it go so that it is considered to be even remotely sightly? Where can it be placed so that I won’t have to gawk at its ugliness, that fiendish plastic bin being?

Then this past weekend came and went, along with it a series of natural events.

It has been so long since California experienced rain, I can’t even pinpoint when it was. Perhaps we missed the rain while we were away on vacation? My memory pinpoints to June, of LAST year. Well, rain it did this weekend. Sunny, 98-degree weathered Friday brought in thunder and lightning in the early evening, along with a torrent of rain drops. Angry rain, momentarily, and then a drizzle until next morning.

I was walking the three blocks it takes to get to work, in the cold, on the wet, and thought about that cat. How was he faring? Meowing his head off, no doubt. Asking for a warm body to hug, maybe? It rained all of Saturday, and that’s who I kept thinking of. I voiced my concerns to Mr. Debtist, who agreed and repeated that he was down to take the cat home. But still, I hesitated.

Sunday was lovely, in contrast. A day well spent with my parents and brother. In between the socializing, Mike and I teetered between going to pick up the cat, or not. Since it was a sunny day, and I was busy entertaining family, there wasn’t anything to push me over the edge.

Monday … Monday was a different story. Providence brought about dreaded Santa Ana winds. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, and could not go back to sleep. The double-paned windows creaked in misery, singing a sad song that brought my mind to the cat, once again. Darned cat. Trees have fallen over, in surrender. Has that cat, too? My co-worker brought news of a lady who was killed in the morning by </s>the wind</s> a tree pushed over by the wind. Has the cat suffered the same fate? I couldn’t torment myself anymore.

I texted Mr. Debtist to pick up the cat after work. He drove back to our old place, and there was the cat, waiting. This furry creature weaseled his way into our hearts, and now has a warm home, just before the winter months. We took him to the vet yesterday, and we picked up the minimal necessities. Turns out, there IS room for a loved one and his things. Our small space just got a little smaller, but our lives just got much more grand. The cat’s, too.

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Meet Theodore:

  • Age: Guesstimated to be about 4-5 years
  • Physical Appearance: Orange, Short Haired, Green-Yellow Eyed. Has a small tip of his ear cut off, for when the Rescue and Release Program took him in and neutered him in the past.
  • Almost toothless. Has severe periodontitis, so we are extracting what few, decayed teeth he has left in a few months, to make it entirely official.
  • FIV+. Poor guy, must’ve gotten in a fight at some point with another FIV+ cat. It doesn’t mean he can’t live a long and happy life. Only that his immune system is weak and we need to monitor his health a bit more closely. Hopefully, we give him happy days for the rest of his cat life.
  • Personality: Loves cuddles and head scratches, is very talkative, and social. Feels unsure about his carrier, and does not like the way we pick him up. Not a picky eater, and loves to take cat naps.
  • The newest addition to our home.

 

 

Frugal Challenge: Don’t Buy Snacks

I am going to be the first to say that I am the least opposed to having a mid-afternoon treat. A firm believer that chocolate fixes all things, you won’t see me denying a cupcake when it’s sitting on the kitchen counter for the taking. My family knows that once you set out the dessert at a holiday gathering, I’m going to be first in line holding an empty plate.

That’s just the problem. It’s difficult to say no to something when it’s taunting you from right underneath your nose. However, it is very easy to pass up on something that you never knew was there. So here is my next, and long-awaited, frugal challenge for the month of October. Stop buying snacks!

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This challenge is not a practice that just recently came about in our household. In fact, it is a habit that we are quite accustomed to. The origin story goes way back to the moment I was diagnosed at age 22 as pre-diabetic, despite the fact that I weighed 100 pounds. You’ve oft heard the saying, “Never judge a book by its cover”? Well, it’s true. A skinny, young girl can be diabetic. At 22, my body was doing a great job at metabolizing all the sugars that I was consuming, but it was also already starting to fail. Without getting too extremely technical, having a normal blood sugar level does not mean that your body is not suffering. Your body can be fighting to keep itself healthy by pumping out a TON of insulin to get rid of those sugars, but eventually, your handy dandy pancreas will not be able to keep up with the work load, and it will start to fail. By the time you notice a high blood sugar level, it is already too late. Your body has had enough.

So when I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes, I knew something had to change. Having been trained to eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (yes, I have done that all in the same day… quite frequently), and growing up in a household where snacks can be found in the pantry every single day, I knew that it was my diet that was causing my body to suffer. I was taught that soda was exchangeable with water, and that juice was “healthy”. Every day after school, my mom would require us to eat merienda, which translates to a snack in Tagalog. Unfortunately, the snack list included chips, cookies, cereal, ramen, mac-and-cheese, and more thoroughly processed goods.

I was in my first year of dental school when I cut out sugar from the grocery bill. In doing so, I nixed mostly every snack possible. I not only said goodbye to my beloved cartons of ice cream, but also the chocolate bars and the cookies and the juice. I even cut out most cereals, with the exception of Cheerios (and not the Honey Nut kind). It was here that I first learned that the most efficient way to cut down the grocery bill is to get rid of junk food. I was grocery shopping for Mike and I, swimming in student debt, and I proposed that we limit our combined grocery bill to $50 a week, a rule which we still stick to to this day. $50 covered at least six days worth of breakfast, lunch, AND dinner for two. That’s how I got through dental school. But that means our limitations couldn’t stop at sugar. We also cut out chips, frozen fries, pizza pockets … even cheese and crackers.

Once we did that, we realized that $50 a week was completely doable. And I am not talking about eating spam or peanut butter sandwiches every day. I am referring to decent, home-cooked meals that taste better than going out to eat! Off course, there are many more perks to cutting out snacks than simply hitting a grocery budget. Here are the top 5 reasons why you should cut out snacks, in general.

TOP 5 REASONS TO CUT OUT SNACKS

  1. Decrease spending. Have you noticed that snacks cost so much for what you get? A protein bar for a few dollars?! A box of fruit roll ups for $5?! You’re practically paying top dollar for useless carbs that will shorten your life span or increase the chances of you needing to pay for medical bills to treat underlying conditions because of unhealthy food choices during your hay day. When you put it that way, all of this pointless eating costs more than the food itself. You may want to cut out snacks to decrease overall spending, for now and for the future.
  2. Cut down on sugar. In case you haven’t heard, all processed foods contain tons of added sugar. It doesn’t matter if they sell it in the form of “agave sugar“, it is still processed sugar that is unnecessary. Cutting down sugar was my number one reason to cut down on snacks. But there may be other reasons as well..
  3. Cut down on cholesterol. My extended family has a history of high cholesterol. When I think about how much salt lies in my once most favorite snacks (ie: Cheetos, Ruffles, French Fries, Ramen, etc), I can feel my arteries clogging up. Decreasing snacks can really do a body good.
  4. Become more productive. Let’s face it. A majority of us use snacks as a means to distract us from work. I remember the days when I needed to study for a test, and suddenly, my mind focuses on food when it should be focusing on the textbooks in front of me. How often do people at work take “snack-breaks”? Work-at-home-bloggers, you know what I am talking about. When I cut out snacks, I find that I eat more regularly. Three meals a day at approximately the same time. I stop “craving” a lot of things, which allow me to focus on my work, whether that’s dentistry or blogging.
  5. Help planet Earth. A majority of snacks are packaged in plastic. When we cut out plastic from our grocery list, we were already primed for success, because we have been cutting out snacks for a few years. Think about it. Individually packaged candies, bags of chips and cookies, even popcorn is in a paper bag wrapped in a plastic bag! We cut out frozen foods completely, as well as jugs of orange juice and bottles of soda. We aren’t only helping our bodies, but we are also helping the planet too.

Off course, there are many more reasons not to eat snacks. But these, for me, are my top five. So try it out for the month of October! Extend it past your grocery list and avoid buying snacks at all times. Do you need that mid-day coffee from Starbucks, or that extra bag of chips from the gas station to satisfy you during the commute home? If you do go out for dinner, is it necessary to get the appetizer and the dessert? Or a cup of soda, even though it’s unlimited re-fill? I know that at first, habits like these are hard to ditch. But try it for a month, and see how much you actually save. You may be extremely surprised, in a good way.

 

Small Space Living

Tip 01// Make Use of Baskets

A daily qualm for small space living is answering the never-ending question of where to put things. Complicated by a desire need to have everything look tidy and put together, storage solutions run short in our home. Well, acceptable solutions anyway.

Five years of working as a product specialist for retail stores has its pros and cons. Con: Jumbled messes and unabashed eye-sores cause anxiety. Pro: I know just how to fix it.

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Enter the use of baskets. The perfect vessel for wrangling things together in one space, without the need to organize or neatly fold. For well-loved, most-oft-used pieces, stock-piling them into one spot is kind of a necessary thing. The basket keeps everything corralled in a neat space, is beautiful to look at, and hides one dark secret: that I am not perfect and though I can fold a stack of clothing like a machine with perfectly even edges, I do not necessarily want to do it all the time.

For me in particular, the basket I am referring to holds a number of soft sweaters and cardigans. Too delicate to throw on a hanger in the recesses of our only closet, and too often used to continually fold, stack, re-fold, and re-stack. They’re forgiving enough to avoid wrinkles, and look more beautiful laying askew than they do folded into a boxy shape.

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Off course, this applies to many things that are unsightly, but you want to hide. A basket is perfect for holding shoes. Kicking off shoes as you enter the home is a part of life since my mother brought me into this world, and small spaces are less tolerant of shoes lying around, lest someone trips on a stray sneaker. Likewise, we use a basket to hold my beloved Fiddle Leaf. The pot it came in is one of those standard black, flimsy, plastic bins with a clear water tray at the bottom. Throw it into a basket, and voila! Only you readers would ever know.

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The ones we have in particular are made by Olliella. A brand based in London, England and born in 2009, it was created by sisters Chloe and Olivia Brookman. The baskets are made of natural materials which are sourced sustainably. They are fair trade certified and are ethically produced.

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How about you guys? Any storage solutions to keep small spaces organized? Share away!

Property Ownership: Happiness Does Not Lie in Double Vanity Sinks

I never thought there would come a day where I would have to write about double vanity sinks. I guess that is just the space this blog is taking me to. Excuse my short interlude amongst my usual property ownership writing, but I am seeking respite from a thought that refuses to leave my mind. I turn to writing it all out, and (hopefully) letting it go. It has something to do with double vanity sinks, and everything to do with people’s concepts of what makes this life worth living.

We looked at two properties (this time around) before we decided on the one to buy. The first time we were looking at a live work loft, our agent was walking through the home with us, while the seller’s agent awkwardly stood downstairs. We were exploring the third floor where the bedroom and bathroom resided, a floor plan quite similar to the one we were renting. I walked into the newly renovated bathroom and commented, or rather, exclaimed, how nicely done it was. Our super rad real estate agent, who we love, flippantly added to the appraisal with what I presume she thought all prospective buyers wanted to hear.

She said, “The nice thing about the bathroom is that it has a double vanity.” She looked at us expectantly and then followed up with, “Do you have a double vanity in the bathroom you currently rent?” When we said we didn’t, she said, “That’ll be a nice upgrade then!”

I was quite confused by her comment, but smiled and continued asking questions about the home and moved on with the rest of the tour. It stuck with me as nothing but a funny comment, and it was pushed to the recesses of my mind.

Until our dear friend helped us move in to our new place (the one we actually picked) two Sundays ago. (How time flies! Was it already two Sundays ago??) After all the lifting, sweating, scuffling, and off course, gorging on food to replenish depleted energy stores, we were sitting on the couch catching up on each other’s lives. A thing that used to be an everyday occurrence in college but that you miss once everyone finds their place in the world. He excused himself to use the restroom and returned to the couch with a big smile on his face. “I like how you have double vanities. So nice!”

Mike and I kind of did this super obnoxious look that we give each other sometimes, at the risk of being borderline rude, and we smiled. We then proceeded to explain how we didn’t think it mattered how many sinks were in the bathroom, as long as there was a sink in the house. Our friend assured us that it’s because we have not experienced “double sink life” just yet, and that we would soon change our minds.

So I asked, “What is so special about double sinks?!” Quite in a similar intonation as the text implies.

He kindly informed me that it was nicer to have one’s own. He said that we each have our own stuff that we want around the sink, and it would be nice to have our own place to store them. He alluded to the stereotype that women want to keep a ton of products around their sinks, and men have shaving supplies to worry about. Plus, it would be such a convenience now that we don’t have to share a sink in order to brush our teeth.

After one week of living in this space, I still don’t get it.

First off, let me show you a picture of our sinks.

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As you can see, the only thing on it is a pump for hand soap, and Mike’s toothbrush. There is absolutely no other thing on the sink.

Secondly, what’s wrong with sharing? We can take turns brushing our teeth. Or, as is more often case, brush at the same time, but take turns using the sink. We tend to roam around the home while brushing anyway, and old habits die hard. Usually, I’ll accumulate my drool much more quickly than Mr. Debtist does, and I am using the sink before him. If anything, it makes for good laughs, moving each other aside in order to expectorate. It’s even funnier when we don’t quite make it.

Ultimately, I think I know what bothers me most. It circles back to when our real estate agent assumed that double vanity sinks is what buying a home is about. Or the inclination that double vanity sinks lead to a happier life. It relates to the concept that “more is better”.  And it still implies that convenience is key to happiness. I kinda miss our single sink. I miss pushing each other out of the way, and trying to steal water from over each other’s hands. I talk a lot about “less is more” but in doing so, I am feeding into this idea that more is better. Less is definitely LESS, but that can be a good thing, too.

Deciding whether a home is the right home for you does not depend on double vanity sinks. Sinks do not even define “an upgrade”. What’s the point of “upgrading” to double vanity sinks if, say, the mortgage is too much for you to comfortably pay. Doesn’t that downgrade you to a more stressful life? Why do people use sinks as a measure of how nice a home is. Shouldn’t we comment on other things? Like, how kind the neighbors are, for example. Or how it cuts your commute to a mere three blocks (yes, that’s my commute to one of my offices now. It’s glorious). I do admit, I may be bent-out-of-shape and hung-up on some small, insignificant thing. But I have got to say that as long as people are measuring worth in terms of double vanity sinks, there’s going to be a lot of happiness-searching without actually any happiness-reaching in this world.

 

Property Ownership: Overcoming Buyer’s Remorse

I was lying in bed on a Sunday night, exhausted from a grueling week of spending every spare moment readying the house into a home. My heart won’t seem to slow down, my mind won’t seem to shut up. We’ve moved every big piece of furniture and a majority of our few belongings that morning with the help of a brother and a close friend, yet there’s still a million things to think of. My brain couldn’t help but tick through the to-do list on repeat, as I try to clear my mind and get some shut eye. Then, it started to turn onto a bleak subject.

I turned to Mr. Debtist and asked, “What have we done?

As the city street lamps glared into our upstairs window, and I heard the shuffling downstairs from an equally unsettled roommate, I started to miss the curtained windows at our previous place. I looked outside to the main street below, and I started to miss the buildings that I frequently stared at. I sat up in bed and set my feet down on the cold cement floors, and missed the tufts of carpet.

I’ve moved ten times before turning thirteen, and I’ve moved a total of sixteen times in my life. Each time, I go through this phase of longing for what once was. The first night is always the most difficult, and I knew that. However, this was different. As if settling into a new environment wasn’t emotionally draining enough, there is the added mental weight of knowing just how much we’ve put into this new home. Invested wouldn’t be the correct word. Gambled might be a better term. On the first night, I feel like the most appropriate way to describe the feeling is a feeling that you just lost it all.

Here’s something every new home-owner experiences. Buyer’s remorse. And it was coming over me like grey skies, gathering for a downpour. If it wasn’t for Mr. Debtist reaching out a hand and telling me “It’ll be okay”, who knows what kind of tumultuous storm might have been unleashed that night.

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When a deal closes on the home, the seller tends to feel like their house was taken away from them at a bargain rate, and the buyer may feel like they were jipped of their money’s worth. It is normal for both sides to feel this way. However, whereas seller’s remorse will likely dissipate in the upcoming month, buyer’s remorse will have the audacity to do its best to linger. Buyer’s remorse is way more complicated, since it is being compounded by other anxieties, most of which have nothing to do with the actual home. Anxieties that involve job stability and its correlation with the ability to pay a mortgage. Anxieties about someone’s health failing, and the complications of trying to balance a home loan with medical bills. Anxieties about the market crashing, or a natural disaster striking. Anxieties about the world collapsing.

While everyone may suffer from a momentary panic attack about their most recent home purchase, it will be unfortunate to have these same worries follow you forever. In the mildest of cases, the remorse is nothing a few aspirin tablets can’t handle. Or in my case, a good night’s sleep. But for others, the thought is so ravaging that they try to break the contract.

Amidst all of this, we center on one single fact: you’re buyer’s remorse at its core is nothing but raw, naked fearThis fear comes from your perception of the value of the home. How do you know if this is you? The symptoms are pretty common, and very easy to spot. Are you doing any of the following?

  • Reading real estate listings more intently than you did before signing the contract. You spend your days searching for similar or nicer homes with lower asking prices.
  • Continue to tour open homes. Don’t be surprised if you see remorseful sellers at these same open homes.
  • Endlessly discuss your purchase with your friends, neighbors, business associates, and any being with two ears. You want to probe other people for their opinions on your home-buying actions. You will likely take anyone who confirms your suspicions as telling you the truth, when in reality, they likely have no idea about anything regarding the current market.

Physically and emotionally drained yet? Because you will be, if you keep this up. It’s enough to make any human go bonkers. Hopefully, you discover soon enough that your fears are groundless. Here’s the real truth.

Facts defeat fear.

The faster you get to the facts, the less you’ll suffer. Overcoming buyer’s remorse relies heavily on your trust in the decisions you’ve made when purchasing your home.

As explained here, a home can have more than one correct price. Pricing and negotiating are arts, not sciences. Never mind the asking price. As long as the purchase price is in line with the sale prices of comparable homes, you’re in the clear! Read up on how to know a home’s market value.

To learn more about home buying, use the book we used.

When I woke up Monday morning, I turned to my side of the bed and stared outside the windows to a crazy skyline, and clear skies, thinking to myself how much I love our new home.

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Dear College Kid: Pursuing Medicine Will Not Get You to Financial Independence Faster

Dear College Kid is a series I decided to write to my younger self. I would send them too, if I could somehow teleport myself via time machine to my late teens and early twenties. I hope other college kids find these letters, and garner some foresight that I myself had lacked. I hope it changes their lives.

Dear College Kid,

Have you ever heard of the term FI? More importantly, do you know of the FIRE community? Standing for “Financial Independence, Retire Early”, FIRE is a concept that aims for the option to be free from needing to spend forty years of your life working. Not to be confused with your life’s work, FI aims to free people of your job, if and when you choose to do so, in order to do your life’s work.

What I am here to tell you is this. If you’re dream is to pursue FI, then the medical profession is not the best, most practical route. I’m a dentist, who graduated from dental school at age 26 with more than half a million dollars in student debt. Now imagine being a doctor finishing residency at age 30, or an oral surgeon finishing at age 34. What you have as a college kid that I no longer do is time on your side. Time to get a head start, time to reach freedom more quickly and efficiently. Time to start opening doors.

At 21, I had no idea FIRE existed. It’s unfathomable for me to even think that I would have understood that work is not necessary in order to live a good life. A 21 year old graduating with zero (or very little) student loans, pursuing a desk job and saving  their income will have a 5-10 year head start on a 30 year old medical professional graduating with hundreds of thousands of student loans and saving none of their income because it is all tied up in debt. I will start at 36 years old at $0 in the bank if I spend all my income right out of school and funnel it to paying down my student loans (something I’ve talked about before). Meaning, the 21 year old with the desk job will have 15 years ahead of me in savings. On top of that, those savings have been racking up compound interest for 25 years. Assuming a moderate 6-7% return rate, those 15 years makes a whole heck of a lot of difference!

Off course, if you are pursuing the medical field, I am not dissuading you entirely, if it is what you WANT to do. The medical field is great! I love my job, but that’s because I did not go into it for the money. If you want to become a medical professional because it’s what you want to do for a long time, then by all means, you will be very happy! If you want to enter the medical field because you want to be RICH and that’s your goal in life, then you will be successful. BUT, if you are pursuing freedom or FIRE, and you think the medical field will get you there quicker because of the higher salary, you are incorrect. There are people in the FIRE communities who retire at 30 years old. If you go into the medical field, unless you have relatives that can pay for your entire tuition and you graduate debt free, well, you’ll still be at net-zero at 30 years old, but at least you have the means to get to FIRE by mid-to-late thirties perhaps. Most parents, however, cannot support med school, and if you graduate with a medical degree AND a ton of student debt, then you’ll be reaching FIRE later than your other FIRE friends. See what I mean?

This does NOT mean, pursue a desk job that you hate in order to reach FI. We reach for FIRE in order to be happy. There is no point putting yourself through misery in order to get to FI because you’ll be giving up happiness in order to do it. Some people say, “Well, I’ll just put in the work and hate my job but get to FIRE faster and THEN I will be happy.” But will you really, though? Reaching the end and never working a day in your life does not guarantee you will be happy. True FIRE pursuers recognize that it isn’t about the end goal, but the journey. It’s about gaining your freedom in the future, without giving up your freedom now. Otherwise, you’ve read FIRE all wrong.

Alternatively, FIRE is not entirely about Retiring Early. It’s about having the option to not work at a job, in order to pursue something else in life that will lead to more happiness. Ultimately, this all boils down to entering a profession for the right reasons. If you find a profession you love, you may not need to retire at all. I find myself happier than a lot of my colleagues, some of whom have only been out a few years and are already “sick of it”. They want out! Unfortunately, they are far from being free because of their lifestyle, or their debt, or a combination of the two. I am happier because I did not enter the field solely for money. I am happier because I do not need as much money in order to live, and can therefore choose how much of my life I need to give up in order to live a happy one. As I’ve said many times before, having money dictate the way you live your life is not a good thing. Whether that’s a lack of money, or a plethora of money. My dream is to free myself from student debt, go FIRE, and eventually travel the world and work for free as a dentist in third – world countries. To give back to communities that dentists never touch. I will likely never be “rich”, but my life will be. I am very, very happy, because I am doing what I love.

So in summary, enter the medical field if it is something you are very interested in or really want to do. (Sage advice: enter ANY profession because it’s what you want to do.) Do NOT enter the medical field, thinking it is the quickest way to get you to financial independence. It’s not the fastest, and it’s not the easiest, either.

For those just hearing about FI, here are a few of my favorite blogs and podcasts:

Welcome to the rabbit hole.

Curating Closets: When You Have None

It’s been a while, since I’ve written about curating closets, but closets have been at the forefront of [our] minds lately. Mostly, because we have none. I revealed in this post that our living space on the second floor has absolutely no closet space, not even in the bedroom.

Or pantry space.

Or a bathroom door.

Or a bedroom for that matter, technically. Loft living for the win.

So where to put storage? Our lifestyle is salvaged by a lone closet underneath the stairwell, located on the first floor (in the business space). We’ve placed a rod in this “coat closet” and have hung most of our clothes there, underneath the linens. There’s shelving above it, wherein sits our few sweaters that avoid hangers, to prolong their sweet little lives. The space is limited, and what minimalist closets we once thought we had have proved to be, well, not minimal enough. The husband owns too many tees, while I own too many formal a dress. So, a few words on curating, once again.

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It’s dawned on me that the de-cluttering process is one of the most mindful practices I engage in. And I do it repetitively, because there’s still room for self-improvement, as well as self-reflection. Here’s what this new “space” has reminded me:

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

I keep returning to this quote. I first discovered it perusing a shelf of cards at Daydream Surfshop in simple black lettering across a blank card. I loved it so much that I gave it as a birthday card to our roommate. When curating closets, I ask myself these two questions: “Does it have a purpose?” and “Do I love it?” Some may say “love” is a bit too extreme of an emotion, but I have found that liking something is not enough to stand the tests of time.

When you must choose between practicality and an item you love, sometimes it pays to choose the loved and less practical.

I was standing in a dressing room stall, holding two pairs of pants in my hands. I had been hiding away in there for thirty minutes or more, and the dressing room lady has checked in on me five times by now. Surely, she must wonder whether I’m in there solely because of the free AC. Not entirely untrue. But also, I was going through a tough dilemma, arguing with myself back and forth. Do I get the pair of practical denim which goes with everything in my closet and which can be worn on most days in casualness, or do I go with the auburn pant that wears beautifully, matches with a lot of my basic tops, but that I might hesitate doing some cooking in, lest it gets dirty? The truth of the matter is, I needed neither. In the end, I had walked out of the store with the pair of red pants in my hand. While practicality would have landed me a pair of denims that have everyday usability, I chose the thing that will make me ultimately the most happy. With something practical, one can wear it every day and never notice anything different. The practical one would not add anything to my life, except maybe a reason to de-clutter other denim pants that I already own. The red pair, on the other hand, will add joy to the every day. Plus, I’ve come to realize that when you love something, you end up using it as much as you possible can anyway. The moral is to choose actions that makes life happy, which is ultimately what we are living for. And when it comes to having items around,  living surrounded with items that you actually care about is the thing that matters most.

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Know what you need for your particular lifestyle.

Speaking of having items around, know what works for you. I have been guilty before of buying things that other people have, with the illusion that I myself may need them too. However, as I grew to know myself, I have found that my lifestyle is quite different from other people’s lifestyle. There were so many things we owned previously that we found we didn’t use at all. A toaster that we had asked for on our wedding registry. Cosmetics that I thought every girl required. A beer tasting set, ’til I realized I no longer wish to consume beer. Specifically for wardrobes, I used to think I needed high heels to compensate for my height, and short dresses to make my legs appear longer. I used to think that tight clothing helped me, and that having my hair curled made me appear more adult. Today, I’d likely grab a tee, prefer overalls, and get itchy when my hair is anywhere near my face. Also, I enjoy the freedom that walking, running, jumping (?) in flat shoes afford me. My lifestyle has slowed down quite a bit, so blogging on couches does not require the same attire as going out to happy hours do. Coffee shops are more forgiving than clubs and house parties. Denim pants are more suited to bread baking than mini skirts. You get the gist.

Learn to recognize sentimentality and guilt. Learn to let the burden go.

The most difficult, and final advice. Too many times have I stared at an item which has not been touched, used, or even looked at for many months [ahem, years], yet still it remained in my possession. Always, the culprit holding me back from saying sayonara was sentimentality, followed by guilt. Handkerchiefs handed down to me from my mom when I was 8 years old, for example. The thought of letting something go makes me feel like I was stabbing someone I cared about in the back with a knife of betrayal. The wild imagery pulls me towards being a “good person” and keeping it for the sake of sentiment, and also, to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings. We must learn to recognize these moments, and then to ask, “what is it’s purpose?” If the only thing the item does is weigh us down with emotional burden, is that really worth keeping? Surely, your loved one did not mean to cause you such turmoil. I have found that creating space gives a higher ability to receive, while releasing negative physical, emotional and mental energy. Be kind to yourself, and know that the weight of the relationship should not come down to material things.

How about your closet space advice? I could use some inspiration. One day, I hope for that downstairs closet to have decent breathing room.

A Parent’s Guide: The First Dental Visit

Child raising is no easy task, especially if you’re a first-time parent. Despite all the advice that friends, family, and well-wishers throw at you, it seems that none of them actually work in terms of making the job easier. I’m sure you’re frantically trying to find space in your hectic schedule to get a bathroom break in peace, let alone a wink of sleep! So of course, I understand the look you’re going to give me when I tell you that somewhere in between the baby bottle juggling and the diaper toss, you’ve got to schedule your child’s first dental visit, too. A look that’s mixed between, “Can you not see I’m busy drowning in to do lists?” and “Why don’t you try your hand at this?” As if you don’t already have enough advice being thrown at you left and right, a few words on a child’s first dental visit:

When:

A child’s first baby tooth appears around 6 months old. Typically, it will be one of the lower two front teeth. Look out for it, although I am sure your little one will let you know it’s coming as they’re gnawing away at all those teething toys, or in some cases, whatever they can get their mouths on. Some might wail as a precautionary measure to warn you that it’s teething time! If the tooth comes earlier or later than 6 months, don’t be alarmed! It is considered normal to be within 3 months of the scheduled timeline. It is important to remember that some babies have a head start, and others are late bloomers. The eruption of the first baby tooth is the first sign that your child should see their dentist. It is recommended that a child establishes their “dental home” no later than a year after their birth. The sooner, the better – here’s why!

Why:

When it comes to teeth, we can get behind creating good dental habits early on. It is best if a child establishes a dental home at a young age for multiple reasons.

  • To check and maintain a healthy oral cavity: It’s obvious that there is tooth decay when a tooth has turned black. Anyone can diagnose that. Unfortunately, by that point, it may be too late! Most tooth decay detected by our eyes have already been present for a long time! We recommend seeing your child every six months as soon as the first tooth erupts, so that we can spot problems early on! Maybe our exams will be limited until your child is old enough to take radiographs, but an exam is still better than nothing at all! Let’s be proactive with our dental care!
  • To develop good oral hygiene habits: When your little one is six months old, the people dentists really want to talk to are the parents. As parents, you will have to guide your child toward good, daily oral hygiene habits. Sometimes, that means holding their hand and doing the brushing for them until they are five years old! We know that they will want to grow up fast but we want them to grow up WITH TEETH! So don’t let them go on their own too early. If your child insists, maybe give them time to brush on their own, and then immediately afterwards, follow up by re-brushing their teeth. Your dentist should be willing to go over some tips if you’re having difficulty with your child’s brushing tendencies. I am sure you have a lot of questions, so do not hesitate to ask your dentist on these visits. Plus, the more times your child gets their cleanings, the more opportunities the dentist has to inform them on ways they can improve, too!
  • To become familiar with the family dentist and dental procedures: Dental procedures can be seen as scary to kids, no thanks to the bright lights, loud sounds, and perception in the media. But they shouldn’t be! We want kids to be familiar with going to the dentist. We want appointments to be fun! And we want to make check-ups easy for them. You know the saying: practice makes perfect. The more times they see the dentist, the more comfortable they will be.
  • To avoid fear of the dentist: Humans, especially little ones, fear the unknown. By developing a dental home early on, a child can become more comfortable with the dentist and will start to see check-ups as part of a routine. When you start to brush your child’s teeth, at first they will resist. But after many practice runs, much resistance, and possibly battle scars, they will soon accept it as a part of life. That’s the same with the dental visit (minus the battle scars!).

Things to Expect:

The first dental visit is not going to be perfect. But it establishes the start of what will be a great relationship between your child and their dentist. Here are some things that you might need to prepare yourself for.

  • The first dental visit will be a visual exam. At six months old, we are not going to take radiographs, a fact you probably already knew. “So what’s the point?”, you may ask. The first visit is usually a visual exam. Meaning, we have your child open their mouth and take a peek at their brand new chompers. If we can get a dental instrument in there to feel the surfaces for any ‘holes’ or ‘soft spots’ that might indicate a cavity, then great! If not, then there is always the next visit. What we really want to accomplish is the familiarity of going to the dentist. Good habits are easier developed early on.
  • Your child may cry. Let’s face it. Everything at the dental office is completely alien to your little one. There’s a lot of stimulation going on and your child may not like it. So, they cry. Well, crying is actually good, because I can stick my head in their tiny mouths and peer at their teeth, mid-cry. Sometimes, that’s better than fighting with a child to open their mouth. If your child cries, do not immediately assume it’s related to trauma or pain. And please do not stop coming to the dentist. As mentioned before, the more they get used to coming in, the more cooperative they’ll be in future visits.
  • Nothing may get done. If the baby or child is not cooperative AND does not cry, then it’d be pretty difficult to take a look at their teeth. No worries! Let’s just call this an introductory visit! “Here’s the dentist, your new friend!” “Nice to meet you, little one! Next time, you are going to do so great, we just know it!”
  • We have to be patient: We don’t want your child to have a traumatic experience, because that can affect their perception of dental procedures and can keep them away from their six month check ups when they grow older. We want the experience to be positive, therefore, forcing a child to cooperate is not the best way to go. We can always try again next time. If there IS treatment that needs to be done, but your child stops cooperating, there are also other things we can do, such as refer to a pediatric dentist (also known as a pedodontist) who specializes in working with children!

So there you have it! Now you are equipped with the to-dos and the whys and the hows. If you can find time to establish a dental home for your child early on, you and your child will have an easier time as your child gets older. Hopefully this advice helps you sleep soundly at night too, knowing that their teeth are in good hands!