You Don’t Need to Be Debt-Free to Be Financially Independent

I wanted to put this on here for anyone who needed to hear it as part of my “more-hope” campaign for 2024. I learned this later in life, which I think is normal in that financial independence has its stages. However, I wish I learned it sooner. When I was in my late twenties and newly graduated from dental school with nary a drop of financial literacy to my name, I thought that being financially independent meant you never had to work a day in your life ever again. Over time, my perspective matured. I now know that you don’t need to be debt-free to be financially independent. I now define financial independence as separating your life from needing to work in order to make money to support your lifestyle. Which means you can actually be financially independent at a younger age, making life decisions without worrying about making money.

When did I change my mind?

I didn’t learn that I could reach FI (financial independence) before paying off my student debt until I did the unthinkable: I quit a job I hated without plans to work again in the near future. I was able to do this by increasing my savings to the point where I had the “FU money” to walk away. At the time, I had mastered control over my budget using an online budgeting tool called YNAB. I still use YNAB to this day and now have enough savings to buy my husband and I 1.5 years of non-work while keeping all our current monthly payments including our house mortgage. You can learn to set up your own budgeting tool with my free course as well.

After I quit my job, I realized the world didn’t fall apart. I didn’t need to look for another job as people came clamoring over, asking me to return to the workforce in all sorts of fields. Surprisingly, other people don’t seem comfortable with the idea that I could get off the hook and not work. I had to set my boundaries and limitations when I did end up re-entering. And guess what? They honored all of it! When I asked for less days, they gave it to me. When I asked for more pay, they gave it to me. When I asked to work from home, they gave it to me. By quitting my job, I had full autonomy of my life. And my life became 100% better, because it was genuinely about what I wanted. My wealth continued to grow even though I was working 2 days a week at the time. Since quitting a job I hated, we sold our first home, and bought two more homes, leveling up each time. We now own a house that is double the home value of our first. We tripled our retirement account bucket. And our savings sky-rocketed.

Cash on hand buys freedom.

At the same time, I saved enough money to pay off my whopping student debt by the time debt repayment resumed at the end of 2022, 7 years after graduation just like I planned. I chose to keep the debt because I learned in the last few years that having cash on hand is what buys us our financial independence. At the same time, our cash savings is earning us 5.5% interest in our Marcus High Yield Savings Account (my readers get an additional 1% APY bonus if they sign up through my link here). (I recommend a HYSA for everyone’s emergency fund BTW!) And with the new SAVE plan for student loans, we are actually making money by holding on to it!

Today, we have enough accessible savings to be able to walk away from both our jobs and live 2 years while keeping our current expenses such as our house mortgage. If we got rid of everything along with our jobs (aka sold our homes and cars but keep our retirement accounts and investments), we could travel the world for more than five years without ever needing to earn money or changing our spending habits. At the same time, our retirement assets will continue to grow even if we don’t make contributions to it. Because I don’t predict we would NEVER return to the workforce, what I now define as financial independence is the space to not worry about job security. The margin that savings can provide makes a huge impact in our lives. I also don’t predict we would both lose our jobs at the same time. However, we may both choose to walk away to take Casey on a grand adventure around the world before he starts school!

I would like to attest to the fact that we are by no means special. Anyone can achieve enough financial independence to walk away from a toxic work environment. By choosing to live intentionally, you can spend on the things that add value and skip on those that don’t (surprisingly a long list!). Start by budgeting out your spending to plan ahead. Then save the rest in a high yield savings account. If you have a big dream (such as switch careers, pursue a passion, travel the world, or start a family) but have been too afraid to voice it because it might be too big, this is the year to face it head on! With a little bit of work, you too could reach FI sooner than you once thought.

Financial Self-Care

Here we are, back again on this topic of self-care. It is a recurring theme in this space, and appropriately so. The concept of self-care is a crucial tool for people of color, women, poor communities, and the LGBTQ movement as they work to dismantle the systems working tirelessly to keep them down. It was created with the following question in mind: “If I don’t take care of myself, who will?” Self-care and FIRE (financial independence, early retirement) are similar in a way. Both require taking into one’s hands the situations presented to them and navigating around a system that would otherwise keep us on the hamster wheel called life. So what does financial self-care look like?

For starters, self-care does not mean self-soothe.

Like everything else, self-care as of late has become a commercialized term. Self-care is marketed to young generations as buying products to ‘take care of themselves’. Yes, some products can help with self-care. I wrote a list when I turned thirty of my own products. But more often that not, the products fall short. That’s because self-care does not mean self-soothe.

Self-care isn’t buying things to make yourself feel better about your situation. Throwing money at something won’t make it go away. If anything, spending money on ‘self-care products’ could be hurting you in the long run, at least financially. It will make you feel better for a short while. Perhaps enough to deal with the situation, sure. But self-care products will never take away the cause of the problem. One day, you wake up back at square one.

Here are 10 Ways to Practice Self-Care Without Spending Money

Self-Care is Doing the Hard Bits

I could have said something else instead of ‘Bits’ but I didn’t. You know what I mean. Most often, it is really about doing the hardest things in life. Here are a few examples.

Showing up one more day, when you just want to give up.
Working that extra shift to save enough money to buy your financial freedom.
Not eating that slice of cake in order to be a healthier person.
Waking up at 5:30am in the morning so you can hit the gym before work.
Staying up late at night getting the household chores done because you spent your day-time hours with the kids.
Resisting to keep up with the Joneses because you know it hurts you financially.
Standing up to your boss, colleague or partner who is taking advantage of you.
Quitting a job that is not aligned with your values.

Self-care is about showing up for yourself. That means doing the hard things in order to better your life. It’s taking care of yourself at the core, ensuring the future you want for yourself, TODAY. Usually, that means resisting buying all the self-care products. Ironic, isn’t it?

Financial Self-Care

If I am going to be brutally honest, financial self-care not about rewarding yourself for your hard work with a shopping spree. It’s not about treating yourself to dinner after a long day. Skipping your workout because work was exhausting is not taking care of yourself. Scrolling for hours or watching mind-numbing TV isn’t the way to fix a mentally tiring day. All of this is self-soothing, not self-caring.

Self-care is pushing through the hard work and continuing on. Because the goal is to get through the hard stuff in order to reach your destination. Erase the “I deserve it” mentality. What we all deserve is a reality check. Self-care as its sold today only sets you back.

Contrary to deprivation, TRUE financial self-care is fueling your life energy into whatever gets you to financial freedom. Some people attack this belief with accusations of deprivation. If you asked me, deprivation could be viewed the other way. By buying into consumerist culture, you are depriving yourself of true freedom from the grind.

Here are a few examples of financial self-care:

Budgeting every dollar that you earn.
Investing your money instead of spending it.
Cutting out certain relationships with people concerned about the Joneses.
Saying no to societal norms and expectations.
Having tough conversations with friends and family about what it means to spend money.
Dissociating from the idea that ‘more expensive’ means ‘better’.

Look out for yourself.

Corporations want you to spend your hard-earned dollars on products. And there’s no better time to convince you of doing so than when you are most exhausted, fatigued, stressed, and burnt out. That’s why companies hang onto the term, promising to fix all your problems if you just buy this ONE item. They manipulate the term’s original intention. ’Take care of yourself’ they say, pretending to care about the real you. But just remember, Who will this really help in the long run? Wouldn’t paying for self-care services and products keep you working day in and day out? Doesn’t that keep you away from time off, time with family, and time to take a break?

Let’s not get it twisted. As the founders of the term self-care thought to themselves, “Who will take care of us if not ourselves?” They couldn’t rely on systems that worked to keep them in their place. Financial self-care is about financial freedom. That’s all it is.

Photo by Aiony Haust on Unsplash

Thoughts: On Work

Earlier this week, I came home from working a day of dentistry. It was Monday, which is a day I am usually off. I was covering for a friend who went on vacation to Korea for a month. I pulled into my driveway as my neighbor was putting away the groceries. She saw me wearing my Figs scrubs (the only brand I wear for work) and cocked her head to the side. “What else do you do besides taking care of dogs?” A funny question, as the dog business is my side-hustle. But here in my neighborhood, I’m known as a dog caretaker, not a dentist. So I told her I work as a dentist and she appeared even more confused. “But if you’re a dentist, why do you bother taking care of pets?” she asked.

Now it was my turn to get a quizzical look on my face. This happens a lot in my life. A sort of disconnect between myself and others who follow the formulaic status quo. I could tell right away that she didn’t understand the point of working if it wasn’t for pay. It was also obvious that she viewed work as a job that one must do, whereas I viewed work as fun things I like to do. She is a stay-at-home mom and might be proud of the fact that she didn’t have to work. It’s also possible she was insinuating the question, “Do you not make enough as a dentist that you have to do more side-hustles?”

So I answered her as truthfully as I can.

“I take care of pets because I like to. It’s fun for me, and I fall in love with them and treat them like my kids. I started out watching just one or two here and there, but now I get requests all the time. Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I accommodate as many as I can. This way, our neighbors can go on their vacations with peaceful minds, knowing who is taking care of their pet family members.

I actually do a lot of things! They are all fun for me and give me joy. On top of taking care of pets, I am helping a bakery grow and I write a blog to help new grads, moms, and people in debt live minimalist lives in order to get closer to financial freedom. I also volunteer at the farm down the street. You should join me sometime!”

Her son came out of the house at that point. A saving grace for both of us. ‘Ah, okay’ as she backed away. I hope I didn’t freak her out. But it’s true. I can’t say at what point during the pandemic I actually became financially free – in the sense that I am not tied to my money, and I stopped working for pay alone.

Perhaps it was when I had enough FU money to quit the job that I hated. More likely it was the healing time period when I learned that I could create any position for myself. Or maybe it was after people reached out to me to help them. Did you know that I never asked to work at either of the two dental offices I currently work at? Actually, I was expecting to never work in dentistry again! I also did not apply to be a wholesale director of the bakery. In all three cases, they came to me and asked if I could help at times when they had no one.

I do my work because it entails helping others. That’s what I like to do. Not because of the money anymore. If my jobs were taken away from me today, I wouldn’t be sad, mad, upset, or worried. I would probably just shrug my shoulders and keep contributing myself to this life, keep showing up for people I’ve gotten to know. Not much would change, except maybe a pivotal shift on where I spend my energy most.

When I think about work, I don’t think of it in the traditional sense of a job. I just think of it as another day where I go and help a few people out. That’s all. I am not dependent on a specific company or career. I am only dependent on myself. I’ve focused on building myself up rather than building a career. (That’s advice I would give any college student!)

My neighbor was probably thinking to herself, “Poor gal. She has to work so hard to be able to live.” I’m over here thinking, “How do I get this neighbor out of her box to join me in this thing called life?” Hopefully we become fast friends. Bringing over banana bread might do it.

Do what you love, and call it work. Some say it can’t be done, but I’m trying my darndest to prove them wrong.

How to Gain Enough Financial Independence To Quit Your Job

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure to learn more.

Yesterday, a dentist came to the dental practice to do a working interview. He would be the doctor to take my place at our busy practice. Upon meeting me, he asked why I was leaving. I told him the truth – that I wanted to take a break from dentistry and spend time living life.

He looked at me quizzically, as if confused by the language I spoke.

“But what are you going to do with your student loans?,” he asked incredulously.

So I explained to him our financial journey. I tried to tell him that we live a life of financial independence. We don’t make our life decisions based on money alone. Rather, we decide what to do based on a happiness meter.

“But how can you do that? Aren’t you worried about your debt?”

When I told him no, that we had planned ahead for a lifestyle such as this, he scoffed lightly and said, “Most people decide to do that after loans are done.”

I simply shrugged and said, “I guess.”

I didn’t really have the energy at the time to convince someone that it is possible to live life financially independent. I recognized someone not ready to open up to the possibility of an alternative life, free of societal expectations and a pre-formulated timeline.

Even though we still have student debt, we have created all the micro-steps to be paid ahead of our original plan, build wealth, and have the reserves needed to create flexibility in our lives. What I did not explain to him was that most people are on a 20-25 year forgiveness plan. Only a few tackle a ten year repayment plan. We were on track for six years, despite having one of the largest debts possible caused by higher education. We have not ignored retirement accounts and have secured a real estate property that is both commercially zoned AND a residential address. We built a savings account that can support a 14-month hiatus from work without curbing our spending or selling our house. (If we sell our house, neither of us need work for over three years and still support our current living expenses, although I hardly see us not working for a few months in reality because that’s just my personality…) We made certain life decisions, such as buying a home in a lower-income area, choosing not to have kids (sorry mom and dad!), living a frugal lifestyle, prioritizing our passions over money, and living a life of less waste in order to get to this place. Some of these decisions were harder than others. We were both born into families that could not financially help us and we have worked hard and diligently to be here.

If he hadn’t been so judgmental about my decision to quit, I probably would have told him how he could do it, too.

On here, I wanted to share with those who were interested exactly how to gain financial independence and quit your job, if you wanted. It isn’t for everyone, and the path might not look exactly the same. I suppose in the end, I can only speak for myself, my life, and what I have done.

I am not sharing this because I think this is the best way to live life. I am sharing this because in resigning from work, I had more people come out of their shell and tell me that they’ve always wanted the freedom to do the same, but feel trapped in the workplace. I am sharing this because I want people to have hope and empowerment. I genuinely want to help.

Here is my not-so-secret, not-rocket-science, not-traditional, not-socially-approved-nor-socially-accepted way of gaining enough financial independence amidst student-debt enslavement to quit a job that was not right for me.

1. Figure out what you want in life.

Decide on your main priorities. Identify your values and try to marry your lifestyle with those values. Only then can you curate your life in a way that brings you complete joy.

2. Eliminate all the unnecessaries.

For me, that meant unnecessary material things, as well as unnecesssary people. Even quitting my job was a practice of getting rid of the unnecessaries. It started with de-cluttering my life, then severing toxic relationships, then separating myself from obligation and societal expectations and norms. Now, I have the ability to assess whether things improve my life or not. If not, then I let go.

3. Begin to grow your wealth.

After steps one and two, all that is left are the bits of life that add value. It started with Mastering a Budget. I wrote an entire course on how to do it, and I shared it with the world for free. I have been told by my students that it has been helpful to their journey. Here are a few testimonials:

Prior to this course, I considered myself pretty familiar with my expenses and a mindful shopper. However, at the end of each month I constantly found myself wondering where all my income had gone. I realized that I was in denial about my budgeting skills & decided to purchase this course. “Mastering a Budget” challenged me to think hard about my goals and how my finances play a role in achieving such goals. Developing a clear understanding of my “why” for budgeting has kept me on track when I feel like I am going off course with my finances. While on this budgeting journey, I realized that I was spending more than expected on certain categories and not saving nearly enough towards my goals. Additionally, the frugal challenges detailed in the course put me outside of my comfort zone but had long last financial benefits that I will continue to carry on. “Mastering A Budget” provided me with the motivation and tools to create a budget that is well suited for my lifestyle and goals. I highly recommend this course to everyone!

“Having graduated with a significant amount of student debt, I realized I needed to be more aware of my budget and how I spend my money. However, I did not have much insight on how to properly manage my finances let alone having a game plan on how to do so. This course not only helped provide me a fundamental understanding on budgeting, but was also very concise and easy to follow. To anyone that wants to better understand budgeting but doesn’t know where to start, I would definitely recommend this course.”

If you want to learn how to start a budget, sign up to receive this free guide on creating a budgeting tool that works for you.

4. Get rid of debt.

We use the snowball method to tackle debt. Trust someone who has a lot of it – this part is no fun, but necessary. I decided that I would not feel financially free until I remove the debt completely. I did not want to wait for a government to remove it 20-25 years later. I know myself well enough to understand that I would psychologically feel the burden of my debt until it was completely gone. If I had chosen a loan forgiveness plan, I would not only depend on the government’s promise to pay off the debt, but I would also be completely dependent on my job. Dependency on a job was the last thing I wanted. Here is why:

My father was very dependent on his job – he had a family to support. He had to do things that were not aligned with his values in order to keep his work. His job as a sales engineer was stressful for him, as his higher-ups dumped uncomfortable confrontations between the factory and the company on their middle man. He then had to give up his pride as he went on to his second job as a janitor for Staples on weeknights. When that ended, he worked at Hollywood Video pushing tapes at a check-out stand alongside high-school teenagers. When we were older, he worked weekends at Robinson’s May, where his boss who paid him minimum wage forced him to miss the important things in life – like his children’s performances and sports matches. He finally quit his retail job when his boss threatened to fire him because he did not want to work on Christmas Eve. I remember the night he came home. He seemed very proud of standing up for what is right, but also, a bit beaten by a system holding him down. After watching my father go through that, I vowed to fight for my financial freedom so that all his sacrifices and hard work were not in vain.

If you have trouble paying off your credit card debts, you can always try The Credit Pros. They will help identify the most damaging and most helpful credit items, as well as provide advice and educational tools.

5. Save as much money as possible.

This may seem like basic advice, but seriously, be as frugal as possible. We experimented with many ways to pinch pennies, such as eating rice and beans for a whole week, as well as taking on a room-mate as a married couple. All of my frugal challenges can be found here. I would highly recommend implementing as many frugal life-hacks as you can!

6. Build an emergency fund.

An emergency fund can reflect your risk tolerance. We are both risk averse people. I wanted to have a healthy buffer via an emergency fund in preparation for unexpected expenses. Some budgeting strategies allow for flexibilities within the budget so that emergency funds are unnecessary. Despite keeping additional savings in each category of our budget for unexpected events, we still keep a separate emergency reserve. I know it’s traditionalist, but diversifying financial strategies is one way we prepare for the future. In order to speed up the process, keep your money reserved in a high-yield savings account. We have opened an account with Marcus, and you can use this referral link to earn an additional 0.2% APY for up to 3 months.

7. Invest in the future.

We could have easily been close-minded and focused on attacking my student debt wholly. But I wanted to be very well-rounded in our financial approach, so we made sure to contribute to our 401-K retirement accounts (we each have one) along the way. Even though it means slowing down our loan repayment progress, it also meant diversifying our assets in order to compensate for the ups and downs life might throw our way. If you do not have a business or work for a company that provides a 401-K account, look into opening up a Roth IRA.

8. Look to real estate.

Rent in California is not cheap. Once we set up our 401-K’s, removed credit card debt, and funneled our hard-earned dollars towards my student debt with auto-payments, we started to look at buying a home because we viewed renting as a sure-fire way to throw away money. We had saved an emergency fund in step 5, and essentially used that emergency fund as a down-payment. Being the avid finance people that we were, we had been eyeing the market for the past two years. This allowed us to know the price point within our budget, as well as knowing the best bang for buck in our particular area. We ended up purchasing a commercially zoned live/work loft which is considered both a business and a residence for less than my student debt! Since we spent some of the emergency fund money, the minute we bought the house, we started all over again and grew our emergency fund back to what it was over the course of the next year.

9. Create passive income streams.

On top of our jobs, which provides active income streams, we wanted to set up sources of passive income. I have alluded to a few of those passive income streams above. One passive way to build wealth is our Marcus Savings Account, which gains interest over time and builds our emergency fund. Another is our 401-K, which gains interest over time and builds our retirement fund. A third is our room-mate which helps pay down our mortgage and build equity. Even this blog brings in passive income from past posts via affiliate links. I like things that continue to grow even when left alone. There are many ways you can create passive income, and I would definitely set yourself up for success in those venues because you never know what will happen to your active income stream.

10. Earn more money.

There are many ways to earn more money. I personally love the side-hustle. In the past few years, I have been a dog-sitter on Rover, worked at a bakery, opened my own bakery, baby-sat, made wedding favors, signage and decorations, sold my stuff on Poshmark, and wrote on this blog. I am not trying to sound insensitive to the effects of COVID on many people’s work lives. The opposite is actually true. I want to instill hope that there are ways to earn money all the time. People just have to think outside the box. A few examples relevant to this time in particular:

baby-sitting so that WFH parents can focus for at least an hour a day
tutoring to help kids who have fallen behind in their schooling
meal-prepping for over-extended parents and family members
financial planning or guidance for those who want to get out of debt accrued this year
mental health services for those who suffer from stress or depression
online yoga classes via ZOOM (so what if you’re not a certified yoga instructor?)
create websites for small businesses that need a digital place to grow
a longer list in my previous post: The Ever-Growing List Of Ways To Earn Extra Income.
for early morning people, check out these 15 early morning jobs to jump start your day!

I know these are only a few examples, but before you can find ways to earn extra income, you need to first give yourself permission to do so. It’s possible you may find that you are the only one stopping yourself from making more money!

Despite Mike not working since February, despite COVID, despite dental offices closing down temporarily, I feel a strong sense of certainty that taking time off during this most stressful and precarious time is the right move for living a balanced life. I only speak for myself, but have found that in doing so, other people have reached out to ask just how.

I hope this has been somewhat helpful, but I know that none of this happened over night. Small steps every day is what it takes to create the space for change. If it feels too over-whelming to think about, try to start with Step 1. Write down your wildest dreams, your values, the things that excite you… Then go from there.

I want to sincerely offer advice so as always, do not hesitate to reach out if you need a helping hand with getting started or finding your way. If you want to read more, here are a few posts you may be interested in.

Related Posts:

The Real Reason Doctors Can’t Pay Down Their Student Debt

I was sitting at work once (and many times after), talking to colleagues of mine who were all in their early thirties – fairly young by doctor standards. We were talking about student loans (what else?) and how steep the price has become to get an education (in this case dental, but it applies to education in general). We were going through our numbers and they were going through their excuses as to why it was impossible in their situation to pay down debt. Of course, me being me, I gently stated the obvious which was that the real reason doctors “can’t” pay down their student debt was because they thought they deserve more than everyone else.

This statement may hurt many doctors’ feelings, but actually, it’s true.

For example. I had one person complaining about drowning in student debt. He blamed it on the kids and the fact that he is a single income household. Fine. But he also just bought a brand new Tesla SUV. He gets a nanny to watch his kids so that it’s easier on his stay-at-home wife. He gets help (did he say $100k a year??) from his in-laws that is budgeted for the kids. His dining out bill is $800 a month. But he can’t afford his student debt.

Another person also bought a brand new car after graduation, enrolled his 6-month old in Montessori private school, took wild vacations (without travel hacking!), and bought a grand house for their family of three.

Yet another person owns two medical-grade massage chairs in his home, bought his girlfriend a Tesla, and drops $10k on trips around the world.

What if I told you that this story is repeated many times over? I have spoken with my fair share of indebted graduates, especially after releasing my own personal story with ChooseFI.

They all wish to banish their student debt. They also don’t wish to do the work.

Here’s the thing I see most often with doctors. They work very diligently to get through school. They do anything to get to their dream career, including taking out a huge sum of moolah (hell, I did too). They sacrifice the best of their young years. They put off buying a home, earning money, and settling down. Then graduation hits and they think, “I’ve made it.” For a brief second, they breathe a sigh of relief thinking it’s all going to be worth it.

So they buy a new car to celebrate. Then they buy a home or a practice. They go out every weekend for food. Sometimes they dine out a few times a week! They want to live in affluent communities. They want to go on vacation. They throw themselves a dream wedding. They buy nice clothes and expensive Figs scrubs. But more than all this are the little purchases. They want the daily coffee, the trinkets from the $5 section in Target, the happy hour events, the spin class – you know, the harmless stuff.

They become obsessed with the high-life and quite quickly, they refuse to give it up.

And if you think I’m being extreme, I’m not.

Because when I graduated, I wanted all these things, too!

The most excruciating part about facing my student debt, the part that nearly killed me, was realizing that after every sacrifice and sleepless night, after giving up the best of my youth, after working three jobs during school, after wracking my brain on ways to extend $40 for another week, after being a model student, the good daughter, the most loyal employee, the most valuable I could be to the community – the work was still not done.

And when I tell new grads coming to me for advice on making loans disappear that they have to use their beat-up high-school ride, possibly move-in with their parents or take on a roommate, cook dinner every night, manage a budget every week, wear their same scrubs from dental school for five more years, and try their darndest to travel for FREE – well, their faces fall and I can see the disappointment plain as day scrawled on their furrowed brows.

Only thing is, I can’t tell if the disappointment lies in the fact that they have to continue living like a college kid for ten more years or if the disappointment lies in me – because I wasn’t the magic genie they wanted that would grant them their wish.

I can tell you how to repay your loans. You just might not like it.

99% of graduates with more than $350k of debt choose to stay with loan forgiveness. Probably because it hurts the human psyche too much to know that everything you’ve done thus far is not enough.

Becoming a doctor does not end the day you graduate. Not for me. It ends the day everything you need to become a doctor is behind you. Loans included.

Not everyone thinks this way, though. Many people truly believe that the hardship stops the day you get the degree. Ahhh, time to sit back and enjoy the benefits of all our hard work. But how can that be when you don’t even know what a hard-earned dollar looks like?! What makes you better than the rest of ’em?

I know I’m making enemies here but I must pose the question. If not I, who will?

I don’t blame the docs. They were merely children when they signed their lives away for a chance at the American Dream. I blame our upbringing for creating the expectation that a doctor’s life is a rich and easy one. I blame the institutions that are set in place that allow universities to charge this much money to get educated. I also blame lending companies who are handing out loans this large. Child robbery, that’s what I call it.

I implore to all the existing doctors that make it seem like being a doctor is easy. How will we ever change the trajectory if we keep implying to young ‘uns that pursuing this career path will mean they won’t have to work hard for the rest of their life. How will they realize and make an informed decision when the time comes?

I know the real truth.

That behind the facade of wealth is an increasingly long list of medical professionals patiently waiting 25 years for loan forgiveness to hit. Behind every confident thrust of the credit card is an avoidance technique that makes life a bit easier to live. Behind all our heroics and saving lives lies a coward afraid to face our social responsibility to pay back debt that we chose to take out. And behind every accomplishment lies a lifestyle creep that is avalanching too fast out of our reach, propelling doctors further forward towards an unsustainable way of living.

The real reason doctors “can’t” pay back student debt is because they won’t.

They choose not to work hard anymore. It isn’t burn-out, although that stuff is real too. It’s the social expectation that a doctor’s life is breezy. The mindset to pay back debt just isn’t there. Many cannot accept that graduation is not the end-game. They think they already won.

There will be excuses. I don’t buy any of it.

There will come a day when I will finish my loan repayment journey, and people will think it’s a miracle. They’ll think I was one of the lucky ones, rather than a penny-pinching maniac. Perhaps the stars aligned and the pandemic gave me this “unique” ability to pay back loans faster because I was not being charged interest for six months. My parents must have helped me out. An investment strategy probably worked out for me but not them. I can’t wait to see the excuses they make. But none of that will be true.

My current car is a high-school ride that I’ve had for 13 years. The passenger’s rear-view mirror doesn’t match, because when someone broke it (probably to re-sell it), I didn’t want to pay an extra $60 to get one that was white when the stock color was black. Mike even helped me put it on the car myself because I didn’t want to pay a service fee at the auto shop. My neighbor came out of his garage this past week and looked at me funny when he saw me physically hand-washing my car. He said, “That’s … nice…” and walked away slowly.

I sometimes have to wipe graffiti off my windows, because I chose to live in a lower income neighborhood so that I could buy a business storefront AND a dwelling at a very low price. Last Friday night, it was getting ratchet at the club next door since they moved the party outdoors due to COVID restrictions. I’ve had to run away from my own home before when the riots first started and they fired fireworks at the cops.

I spent a third of last year working midnight shifts. I still wear my USC scrubs that I was forced to buy upon entering dental school in 2012. I run with the Nike’s that my husband bought me as a gift when I was attending dental school so that I could “be cool”. They used to be orange but now they’re mostly black. I sell my de-cluttered stuff on Poshmark. I research heavily in order to travel the world for FREE. I come home from work to work. I still actively budget every week. I aim to spend only $200 a month in groceries for the two of us and $150 a month in dining out. I created a lifestyle where my job is three blocks away, to reduce the gas I have to buy. TO REDUCE THE GAS I HAVE TO BUY. I spent my last birthday repainting our bathroom. We spent Mike’s birthday picking up birthday freebies. Heck, even our cat was free.

Do you know the real reason THIS doctor can pay off student debt?

Hard work and a willingness to.

It’s not rocket science.

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FREEDOM: Getting Out of a Rut

Alright, I’ll admit it. I’ve been in a rut. It took a long time to recognize it (too long!), but it is quite obvious to me that I’ve made a false start. I began this year with the intention of writing a course. It’s September and it’s 80% written but yet to be published. Meanwhile, it’s been slowly eating away at my bank account as I use a program that is useless without the course itself. Not only is it nibbling away at my account, but also at my inner peace. My mind is always thinking about the course. More accurately, I am always reminding myself that it has yet to be finished. Something is always nagging me, competing for attention space. I’m split spiritually, trying to go in two directions as half-ghosts of myself struggle in confusion.

The course is on budgeting. I wanted to write it to help people get out of their debt, much in the same way my CFP helped us get out of mine. But since deciding on helping people with this, my world was drastically changed, by BREAD no less! My focus is no longer on teaching people finance in a virtual space but on creating a local community around bread in my physical space. And still, I didn’t abandon the course.

I was essentially in denial. I made excuses such as, “I’ll work on it eventually”, “It’ll be worth my time”, and “People need me”. In all my self-glorification, I was disillusioned into thinking people’s budgets were in my hands. I’ve started to learn lately that that’s a big flaw of my Enneagram type 1 personality (more on that later, perhaps). After I got over myself, I finally realized what this course was:

A good idea, AT THE TIME. But the times have changed.
A self-glorified belief in my ability to help people and “set things right”.
A long withdrawn denial that this isn’t working out.
A hindrance to my advancement with what’s really interesting to me now – this bakery.
Unhelpful to me, unhelpful to anybody.

At times like these, we need to be brutally honest. I had to metaphorically stare myself down and say, “This is not YOU”.

There are three steps to getting out of a rut. The first is to see the rut. I see my bank account. I see my half-finished write-up. I feel nothing towards this course. The fire has gone out, which tells me it’s time to move on. Next, is to admit I’m in a rut. Which is why I am here. Forget all the assumptions I made about how beneficial this course will be. It’s just not happening. And thirdly, get out of the rut. The hard part. After spending hours of my days writing what must be a mini-novel on budgeting, I need to just abandon ship in order to save myself and get me moving again.

Here are a few ways to get out of a rut.

Make a list of new ideas. Brainstorm what can be done with one thing – see where it takes you.
Change your environment. Take a walk, get outside, go to a coffee shop. Sometimes we’re in a rut because too much is familiar and inspiration just can’t strike.
Challenge assumptions. Figure out why you can’t keep going, or why you are holding on. Challenge those reasons.
Just DO, as in DO ANYTHING.

The beauty of a creative life is that the path is never straight. It’s never carved out for you. It’s scary and confusing and downright dangerous. It’s hard work and frustrating and unclear. What it is not, however, is torture. In this experience, I am reminded of something my mom used to say. “We only torture ourselves.” You will know when you’re in a rut. You may also resist, at first, like I did. But eventually, there will be no hiding, and we have to be good at letting go.

We need to believe that part of the creative life means your work doesn’t depend on the first idea, but rather, the LAST. I see now that my new idea is being a baker. I see that my preconceived notion of writing a course limits my pursuit of bread-baking. A creative life will end if I cling to the first idea. My advice, always run with the last.

Freedom: In Taking A Month Off When Owning Your Business

About a year ago, I heard of a man who worked for himself as a photographer. During Christmas time, his calendar for booking a photo shoot was entirely grayed out, indicating that there were no days available for last-minute holiday cards of procrastinators. At first, one would think, “Entirely booked for the holidays – he must be doing well!” Until one looked at the bottom right corner and saw an asterisked note.

“*We are accepting no bookings in the month of December in order to dedicate our time to our loved ones.”

To some, they may still come to the same conclusion. “He must be doing well to take THAT much time off.” But to others, myself included, a lightbulb flickers. An “Aha” forms quietly on the lips. And I think the inverse instead: “He’s got it all figured out, that which makes him well.”

R E : M Y T A K I N G A M O N T H O F F

In the month of June, I turn thirty years old, with my date of birth landing directly on Father’s Day, as it sometimes does. Life has been one crazy ride these last few months, and I thought to myself, why not take the month of June off?

Okay, not entirely, persay.

But my time has been disproportionately skewed towards my recent baking venture, and I have been looking for an opportunity to swing things back to a more balanced state. I’ve missed writing, and feel the loss of the introspection that only a year ago predominated my life. Plus, I also miss that slow lifestyle that has so rambunctiously sped up. I’ve quite made up my mind. I want to be like the photographer. I have my own bakery, and no one is requiring me to bake. In an effort to exit my twenties full of opportunity for moments of self-reflection and enter my thirties with half my wits about me, I have decided not to take any orders for Aero Bakery during my birthday month.

Off course, I will still be working as a dentist during part of my birthday month (we leave for a two-week trip to Alaska towards the end – how we get our flights for free here), and I will still continue helping Rye Goods bake off their bread and pastries. But with regards to my own business, I will close in observation of this life event, and in an effort to respect my mind and body which have both been craving time and space.

In addition, I have decided to quit the midnight shifts at Rye Goods after June and focus solely on Aero when I return in July. It was a difficult choice since both gave me so much happiness, but I had to choose between the two, or continue to deprive myself of the lifestyle which I have worked so hard to build. So, you see, I couldn’t keep both. I wished not to keep both. The choice ultimately came down to which one I had more control over, and Aero happened to be the winner.

R E : B U S I N E S S O W N E R S T A K I N G A M O N T H O F F

I think it’s important to address the freedom in taking time off when owning your business. While it may seem straight-forward, unfortunately, the majority of business owners do not realize this freedom. As with most American dreams, less is not considered more. Closing a business (for a month or more, no less!) is considered business suicide. Taboo, almost. Many suffer from the feeling of, “No choice”. One simply doesn’t do it. Or at least, that’s how they want you to think.

Business owners experience a lot of pressure in competing with other business owners. Held prey to a scarcity mindset (you know, that sinking feeling that if someone else is getting a customer, you are, in turn, losing one), many owners fear taking the time off. In fact, they are less likely to take the time off than a person working for someone else.

I hope to remind you that it isn’t really the case.

It takes a whole lot of courage (and even more trust) in your abilities, or self-worth, or what-have-ye.

But it’s worth it.

R E : F R E E D O M I N T A K I N G A M O N T H O F F

We talk a lot here about financial independence, and it is this freedom that this life affords.
The ability to say, “No, not today.”
The ability to walk away.
The confidence that it will be there for you when you return,
and if not, then you can build another.
Eventually, I want an entire life built around this freedom.
A simple one, free of debt, so that all I have to earn is the food I am going to eat.
I wish for a life’s work that is in my hands.
A job that we don’t depend on, because we don’t need to make money.
The ability to choose a different path, in an instant, without hesitation.
Eventually, I hope to work mostly for myself.
In fact, I hope to l i v e only for myself.
There. That’s better.

R E : O W N I N G A (D E N T A L) B U S I N E S S

People in this space ask why I don’t own a dental practice, so that I may be free from my student debt sooner. But just as I refuse to work full-time as a dentist, I find that owning a practice gives up freedom now for freedom later, and the cost is too great.
I want to do work that is not dictated by money … nor insurances, nor patient wishes.
Currently, I counter-balance the need to fit into a box dictated by what is just, and good, and scientifically-proven, and paid for by insurance, and perceived by the patient, et cetera, with baking for myself, and myself alone. This is kind of where my life is headed. I wanted to be a dentist to be of use to people. I likely will not give up dentistry entirely any time soon, because I find that there is truth in my initial intention. But in dentistry, I cannot say with certainty that the end-product is truly my work. It’s manipulated by other people, factors, institutions, and the politics doesn’t allow for something more pure. It is because of this I do not own a dental business. And there is some pride in that.

R E : C A P

Regardless, looking forward to having a month sort-of-off. Looking forward to a lot of memory hashing and story-telling. Looking forward to, well, looking forward. My twenties were chalk full with life-affirming moments. I wish for my thirties to be filled with much the same. And much less ranting. As, I am sure, do you.

Freedom: Be A Baker, If Your Heart Tells You

It’s been a while since I’ve talked about freedom, but in essence, this is really what this blog comes back to. Freedom from clutter, freedom from societal norms and expectations, freedom from social obligations, freedom from the monkey mind, freedom from debt, and freedom from financial chains all-together. Even though I talk largely about finance, as my site moniker implies, the wealth will never amount to anything without the freedom. I’ve seen time and again people hung up in the numbers game, that they miss out on the life. They become money making machines (and great ones, too) but at the expense of the things that make one most free. My advice? Sure, you can play the numbers game. Use your knowledge about finances to free you more. But the end goal isn’t to become a millionaire. At least for me, it’s not. It’s to become a baker, if my heart tells me to.

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By now, you all know about my staggering debt, which I took out to pursue a profession that I have wanted since I was 8 years old. You also likely know about my resolve to get rid of the debt. I mean, even Travis Hornsby of Student Loan Planner couldn’t convince me to get off this crazy, wild train of paying down debt aggressively! And surely, if I was concerned solely about the numbers, I could accelerate this repayment by working as a dentist as many days as I can. Or even more so, by buying a practice and putting in some serious hustle, dedicating ~~most~~ ALL of my days to building a business that would yield a large enough profit to accelerate my timeline even more. Yet, I chose to stay part-time.

Am I a crazy nutcase? A dummy who doesn’t realize how much more efficient I can be?

Choosing to stay part-time gave me the space to be able to fill my time on this Earth with other things that bring meaning into my life. Choosing to tackle my debt aggressively relieves some of the dependency I have on my job. Little by little, both options have led me down a path to pursue things such as writing on this blog, dog sitting on Rover, and now, baking bread in earnest.

It is with great pride and an overwhelmingly amount of joy and excitement that I would like to share a recently accepted position as a baker for the company Rye Goods, one that pays little in green paper stacks compared to dentistry, but pays enormously in terms of joy. And while people would gawk at my audacity to add three midnight shifts to my four dentistry days while trying to juggle this blog, I cannot explain to you how much energy all of this brings me. And wasn’t this the whole point?!

All the hours I spent de-cluttering, all the heartaches I delivered de-friending, all the sleepless nights filled with budget cutting, all the effort spent trying to erase the mental clutter and slow the heartbeat’s pace … It wasn’t to live with all that empty space. It wasn’t to deprive. It was to be free. All of this, to allow me to be a baker, if my heart tells me to.

And if you want to follow this crazy train, you are more than welcome.
First stop: financial independence. Then onwards, to the rest of your life.
May I suggest starting here.