We were supposed to go on a Santa Barbara trip over the weekend, but it was canceled due to rain. Which meant that instead of being surrounded by our friends on a Monday, Casey and I were stuck at home. Rainy days used to be my favorite thing! It facilitated many activities I loved such as drinking coffee, writing, reading books, and tidying the home. However, rainy days are the worst when it comes to parenthood and infants. Getting energy out of newly mobile humans is highly dependent on the outdoors. After they’ve explored the house once, it becomes a bore. Not yet old enough to use imagination or engage in focused tasks and activities, infants get frustrated early on in the day, leaving me wondering what there is left to do.
I pulled out all the stops before his morning nap. He already touched all his toys, read his books, and walked around the house. In the afternoon, I resorted to the genius idea of plopping him on his Doona Trike, killing 15 minutes zooming around the kitchen counter and dining table. It was dizzying. Perhaps the headrush was from my excitement at discovering a new distraction technique. Other activities he found enjoyable included terrorizing the cat, banging on the glass sliding door, crying his eyes out, and unpacking all the contents of my purse. This bought me maybe 45 minutes.
Minimalism Helps
One of the things that helps me on difficult parenting days such as these is keeping an extremely tidy and minimalist home. Most of my parenthood struggles begin with not having enough space for myself. By having less clutter in the home, I am reducing the signals entering my brain which gives me more space for thinking of ways to handle a frustrated and bored babe. In preparation for things such as rainy days, I make sure the home and calendar is clear of clutter, so I can focus my energy on the task at hand: managing meltdowns indoors!
I recommend decluttering spaces to everyone as it improved my mental health tremendously. If you wish to declutter as well, take a gander at this list of 100+ things to declutter for considerations.
Presence of Mind Also Helps
In the end, it turned out to be a really good day. Part of that was my commitment to presence. Having already cleared the calendar for our trip, there wasn’t anything to do but fully engage with my son. Another of my parenthood struggles is the stress that results from trying to do too many things at once. When I have a long list of things to do, being with my son feels like a pain. I feel resentment and frustration when he needs my attention because I feel as if my tasks are more important than his. After realizing this, I started to time-block my son. By creating boundaries around tasks and separating “Casey-time” from “Sam’s To-Do”, I reduce the stress in my day. More importantly, it prevents misdirected anger from happening. Keeping an intentional time-blocking practice good for our relationship and saves me a ton of time! Check out my top ten tips for saving time here.
I got the idea of writing about my days with Casey from another mum. You see, Mondays are OUR days. I get to spend all day with my son as I stay home from work. It is the only day I fully dedicate to him. As sad as it is to say, when I was dedicating my every day off to Casey, I couldn’t help but feel burned out and resentful. I had no days to recharge or reset. Eventually, Mike and I hired a nanny to buy ourselves personal time. But on Mondays, Casey has my full attention. I don’t get any chores done and I don’t make a to-do list. I’ll flutter around the house tidying up or take a shower during the occasional nap, but other than those slim (and getting slimmer) moments of silence, there is nothing else in my world. So it would be a shame to not remember these days that are honestly so special to Casey and I. Hence, this series. The Case of the Mondaze.
