Time-blocking the schedule is a strategy I learned before Casey was born. By adding blocks of time to the schedule for specific tasks to get done, you are setting boundaries in your day that allow for focus and efficiency. Pre-motherhood, I engaged in the practice of time-blocking in order to increase output. I used it to increase work-efficiency, as outlined in Cal Newport’s latest book “Slow Productivity”. Post-motherhood, I am time-blocking for my mental health. The art of time-blocking is an under-utilized strategy for new parents. But I think they can benefit greatly. Here is why every new parent should consider the art of time-blocking.
How My Schedule Changed When I Became a Mom
When Casey was born, I did not expect to accomplish all the things I used to. Rightly so, as I managed two side-hustles on top of a day job. But despite reducing my work load significantly and clearing my calendar, I still had trouble caring for Casey and getting stuff done. I quickly realized that babies need intermittent but immediate attention. While he took frequent naps, there was zero predictability as to when he would wake up and my free time would end. And once a baby was awake, they needed immediate attention.
In early motherhood, I found myself multi-tasking with frequent task interruption. This led to massive frustration. As a high-performer, I greatly dislike unfinished business. Unfinished tasks are like clutter, for the mind. Also, because my attention was being pulled in all directions, things were getting missed or forgotten. I struggled to get anything done!
Why Multitasking is Stressful
- Our brains aren’t made to process more than one thing at a time. Studies have shown that the neurons in our brains are actually switching from task to task when we think we are multi-tasking. This constant switching of attention is costly in terms of energy.
- Distractions slow down progress. It is better to work for five minutes straight with undivided attention than it is to stop half-way for a 30 second interruption.
- Confusion is frustrating. Our brains will get over-whelmed when there are too many inputs to process. This can lead to confusion, which can lead to frustration.
- Juggling tasks with childcare is dangerous. Babies need undivided attention. Something can go wrong in the blink of an eye. Since our brains aren’t REALLY multi-tasking, juggling tasks means we aren’t focusing on our babies when we are doing anything else.
- Mistakes can be costly. We have an increased chance of making mistakes when we try to do too many things at once. In motherhood, the stakes are higher. A mistake can lead to a lot of stress and guilt!
Why Time-Blocking Works
Time-blocking avoids misdirected frustration and anger.
Sometimes, when we are trying to complete a task and the baby takes up too much of our attention, we can have misdirected feelings towards the baby. It isn’t the baby’s fault that you feel the need to complete the task. It isn’t their fault that they still need a lot of help at this age. Unfortunately, that misdirected anger really should be targeted at the limited time or resource that you have, rather than the task or the baby itself. It is up to you to time-block every task to have your focused attention. Not enough time in the day? Delegate tasks to other people. Declutter unnecessary tasks. Simplify what you need to accomplish. Ask for help.
Focused attention is more efficient than divided attention.
It can take me ten minutes of undivided attention to accomplish a task. With distractions, it will probably take me at least double the amount of time. Why? Our brains require time to switch from one task to another. It isn’t immediate. Sometimes, our brains need to reorient itself and pick back up a few steps back from where it left off. This results in re-doing what we have already spent time doing.
Children are taught healthy boundaries early on.
Another great thing about time-blocking is that you are modeling to your child how to set healthy boundaries around your time. A child may feel ignored if you are distracted all day. They will see you doing other things and will process that as not spending time with them. Practicing the art of time-blocking as a new parent means you get to explain to your child that for the next hour, it is just you and them. You are making room in your calendar to spend quality time with them. Then it will be time for you to do XYZ, and your child will have play-time. Setting these types of boundaries around the schedule teaches the child that they are important, but they are not the only thing in the world. It also teaches them to focus when they are doing tasks. And it helps them communicate with others how they want to spend their time when they are older.
We are in the present moment.
When we set aside dedicated time to be with our child, we are being fully present. My phone is on “Do Not Disturb” and in its docking station in the living room or my bedroom. I am enjoying every moment I have with him rather than thinking about what to do next. I am not upset about all the things I have to do later, or the things I didn’t finish. Why would I be? This time was already planned for and it is not getting “in the way” of anything else. I saved this time for my son.
Flow is more easily unlocked.
As a creative, accessing flow is super important in my work. Both in dentistry and writing, distractions lead to creative death. Time-blocking things such as writing is crucial to productivity. I have to set aside focused time when Casey is either asleep or with someone else.
A stronger parent-child relationship is accomplished.
There is no greater gift than undivided attention. Since time is the most limited resource we have, it is the most special thing we can give. We have the opportunity of forming stronger bonds with our kids when we spend quality time with them. For me, the moments when my parents gave us their undivided attention form my core memories.
What to Time-Block
Of course, there are many tricks to time-blocking. I highly recommend checking out my post on how to optimize timing in a day before you get started. This is because order matters. You want to align tasks with energy level, depending on your chronotype. Prioritize your tasks and put the hardest ones during the time of day when you have most energy. Then, I would recommend blocking out time for the following:
- Visualization.
- Planning the calendar.
- Quality time with your child.
- Household chores.
- Creative work or WFH.
- Administrative tasks like checking emails or making phone calls and appointments.
- Breaks or rest.
Now I know some of you are thinking, “Time-blocking is impossible!” Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom, single parent, or have an extremely needy child. I get it. It takes resources to have your hands free-enough to time block. And sometimes we are limited on resources. But I believe time is the most limited resource of all. Yes, more than money! They say you spend 90% of all the time you will ever spend with your child in the first five years of their life. Then they will be off to school, sports, activities, college, work, and their own lives. So I say, find the resources!
Finding The Resources to Time-Block
- Hire a nanny. In order to make sure you find the right one for your family, I made a list of interview questions for a great nanny you may want to consider.
- Gather relatives. Ask grandparents to watch them for an hour a week. Ask siblings to take them out on outings.
- Ask a neighbor. See if they can watch your kid for an hour, and then maybe you can trade off and watch their kid for another hour. Lean in on community. It would be great if you could befriend parents with kids similar in age to your child.
- Unplug. Stop wasting what precious time you DO have on social media or online. In fact, go to your phone right now and look at your screen time. You may be surprised to realize that the “time you don’t have” has actually been there all along.
- Have some fun activities that can engage your child’s focus for a certain amount of time. If you have an older kid, talk to them about the importance of concentration. Ask them kindly to read or play in their room so that you can make them a yummy dinner, or fold their clothes so they have something to wear. Better yet, try to engage them in the chores themselves. If you need to fold laundry and you have an older child, have them help you with the task. This way the task will be done sooner and this will leave you with more dedicated time for your child. Just make sure the help isn’t counter-productive.
