Before motherhood, I used advent calendars as a way to introduce mindfulness into the holiday season. It was born out of the wish to slow down the pace as the year ended. It entailed a list of activities that Mike and I had to do. Activities such as see holiday lights, drink hot cocoa, or play a boardgame. It got us away from the whirlwind of holidays past – with the frenetic shopping and saying YES to every party or get-together. It kept us home, instead of searching for things to do, which usually required money during this season. The activities weren’t always tied to a date. We would pluck a notecard from the calendar and choose to do a simple activity that day. Here are a few posts I wrote about advent calendars before kids.

• My Free Advent Calendar 2022
• My 2023 Activity Advent Calendar
• An Advent Calendar for a Slow Holiday Season

Advent Calendar IDEA for Parents with Toddlers

Now that we have kids, my attention has shifted a bit. Mike and I still do advent calendars but we started a new tradition. Since my son’s birth, we have been ordering the Coffee Advent Calendar from 19 grams. We get the espresso box, and every morning, we make a shot of espresso for each of us. Using our coffee tasting skills, we try to discern the process, country of origin and tasting notes. I know it’s a bit nerdy, but it is a beautiful way to connect before the kids wake up in the morning. It also forces us to slow down before the day’s rush and hone in on our senses. Coffee tasting requires us to breathe, sip, and think. We get so much joy when we get it right!

Advent Calendar For Toddlers

Wanting to carry the tradition of advent calendars to the next generation, we purchased this reusable Heirloom Canvas Advent Calendar from Cotton Lane. There are many other brands out there. I know some moms really like the Gathre Advent Calendar. There is also this festive one from Pehr that I really like. But to be honest, anything that has compartments works. Depending on what you do for the calendar, even a large basket can old daily wrapped goodies!

What’s different for the kids is that I use the calendar as a way to foster joy. As they grow older, I want it to instill excitement for the BIG day. Looking forward to a new surprise each morning is so fun, especially in toddlerhood when their attention is in the here and now. Of course, as they get older, I can introduce mindfulness in my own way. Such as tying activities that spread Christmas cheer or promote giving or goodwill.

To be honest, the advent calendar still functions as a reminder for ME to slow it down. Except now, I need to slow it down and cherish these little memories in this fleeting pocket of time. I already see how differently my oldest experiences the holidays every year. And he is only 2.5 years old.

So how do you fill or make an Advent Calendar?

Advent Calendar IDEAS for Toddlers

Once you’ve decided how the Advent Calendar can best serve you and your family (whether it be instill joy, create excitement, slow it down, teach mindfulness, spread goodwill, etc), you can fill each day with something that promotes that. Here are a few advent calendar ideas for toddlers! Most of these ideas are FREE by the way. Most of them are easy and require little prep work.

• LIBRARY BOOK ADVENT CALENDAR. I introduced advent calendars to Casey the year he was born in the form of library books. We went to the library and I checked out 24 books. I placed them in a big basket and stuck a post-it with a number (1-24) on each one. I wanted to share with him my love of books from day one! Every day, we read one of the books from the library. I have done it every year since. This year, I wrap the books in a bit of paper with a bow and place it at the breakfast table. He loves to read in the mornings, sometimes while eating breakfast! I will collect them in a basket so we can enjoy the books we have already opened in the evening. This idea does not require a reusable advent calendar!
• ORNAMENTS FOR A LITTLE TREE. Big Little Universe sold an advent calendar that had a felt ornament for each day leading up to Christmas. On the packaging, there were also little mindful messages for the toddler! They sold out of them but going to a local store and buying tiny ornaments for the kids is easy to do. Even a vintage store or a dollar store will have options that are affordable! Or you can make paper ornaments if you like to craft and have time. I then went to World Plus Market and bought a tiny fake tree for $10. Every morning, they get to see which ornament they have and hang it on their tree so that by Christmas Eve, they have a fully decorated tree! I found this book, How to Decorate a Tree, in the library so this is what we are reading on the first day.
• ACTIVITY CARDS. This is in line with what I had done before kids. Every day, have them discover an activity card in the calendar pocket. Depending on the function you want the advent calendar to serve, you can choose activities that elicit joy, spread goodwill, or introduces mindfulness. While there are cards readily printable available on Etsy, you can easily make these at home with stock paper or notecards and a pen. It does not have to be fancy.
• RECIPES. Does your toddler love to cook? Having a recipe to be made every day is a great way to introduce cooking to your little one. Our son has loved his Piccalio Kitchen Ladder since he was 1.5 years old! Last Christmas we got him this Chef hat and coat from Pottery Barn too. This is a great way to have your toddler help meal prep and connect with them. This also teaches them important life skills. And if you wish to incorporate good will, share the food you make with neighbors when there is extra! Go on a walk and deliver the treats to their doorstep.
• YEAR’S OVERVIEW PHOTO ALBUM. I love this idea of printing 24 photos from the year past. Some of the best memories such as vacations, birthdays, or just every day moments! Every morning, reveal the photo and ask the child what their favorite part about that memory was. Write it down on the back of the photo. And then place the photo in a small photo album. I like polaroid pictures or even tiny photos printed from CVS is good. Mochi Things has a bunch of cute options! Oh and if you need a stocking stuffer idea for you camera loving toddler, check out this Mini Mickey Mouse camera from Kiimento!

As always, I love to hear ideas so please feel free to share yours in the comments below!

Photo by Charlotte Cowell on Unsplash

At the beginning of the month, I posted on my Reset Dental Studio Instagram account that I was excited for No:vember. It was an intentional affirmation that as the season got busy, it’s okay to let go of the “shoulds”. I followed my own advice and really dropped everything in terms of work. In exchange, I chose to be a present mom. Holidays are so magical and in this short season of motherhood, I know that future me would be disappointed to look back and realize she missed it. Plus, this was the first year that we included Sadie’s birthday celebration to the mix. Between my mom, Sadie and father-in-laws birthdays, both sisters visiting from Madrid and New York, a brother visiting from Arizona, two weekend getaways, two birthday parties, AND Thanksgiving, I honestly had no choice but to follow my own advice.

I was grateful though to have had the intentional post already written and mentally processed. It became less of a decision I needed to make when the time came. Dropping work wasn’t even a question. Organically, I just focused on what’s important. Without guilt, shame, worry. That’s what daily writing and mindful living does. The peace is there knowing that this was the choice I would have made all along. My actions are guided intuitively because I already know what I want the outcome to be.

On Black Friday, we decorated for Christmas in the morning by hanging up stockings and this Advent Calender for the kids. We filled it with ornaments from Big Little Universe and explained to Casey that every day they get to open one ornament and hang it on their miniature tree that sits in the center of our dining table. I also plan to insert a notecard with a holiday activity for each day. My husband and I used to have a FREE holiday activity advent calendar before the kids and I’d like to carry that tradition forward. After having kids, my husband and I switched to a daily coffee ritual with 19 grams’s advent calendar. We love guessing the tasting notes of each espresso shot before the kids wakes up and the coffee kicks in.

We went on a bike ride in the afternoon. Sadie rode in her bike seat for the first time. Looking over and seeing Casey grinning from ear to ear and hanging on by Mikey’s shirttail was just the cutest memory. My husband really enjoyed being out there too. This made me happy, because sometimes I forget about his experience. We followed it up with holiday lights viewing after dinner and a dance party outside one of the homes. The day ended with milk and library books on the living room floor.

It was many years ago that I wrote the post Thoughts on the Blackest of Fridays. Having just reread it, I realize that my writing has processed a lot of the rituals that weren’t aligned with who I was. It has grounded me. I am proud to be living up to my values now.

And as No:vember wraps up, I am trying to think ahead to December. Honestly, this season is so magical for me. The frosty mornings, sunny afternoons, the smell of California sagebrush and coyote brush (“Cowboy Cologne”). But what’s more magical is the changes that come with it every year. Casey was so enamored by holiday lights last year, but this year, he just flits past. He is more interested in the houses that play music so he can dance. Instead of holding our hand as he toddles along, he wants to sit on dad’s shoulders way up high. I look forward to all the moments.

I hope to write every day in December to process the year thus far and the year to come. And as a form of meditation for this very busy season. The repetitive act of looking at holiday lights after dinner and reading library books will probably be a thing. Only because I know it’s not forever. By next year, Casey can probably read books on his own. One thing is for certain. I’ll carry on the ethos of No:vember through the rest of the year and it will be a tradition to embrace in the years to come.

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

I love a good, chocolate chip cookie. So much so that I freeze batches of them so when a neighbor comes to call or my family is yearning for a treat, I can make fresh ones in an instant. This recipe in particular is quite good. It takes only a few minutes to make using common pantry ingredients. A batch produces about thirty two cookies. I typically bake off a half-sheet right away, and save the rest for later. Please enjoy this gooey chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Gooey Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Ingredients:

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 2/3 cup rye flour (buckwheat works well too)
• 1.25 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 cup + 2 tablespoons unsalted butter (melted)
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 2/3 cup granulated sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
• 1.25 cups chocolate chips or coarsely chopped dark chocolate
• sea salt flakes for finishing

The Process

1. Whisk together all purpose flour, rye flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
2. Whisk on Kitchen Aid mixer the melted butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until just combined.
3. Add the egg and vanilla extract.
4. Tip in the dry ingredients and beat until a soft dough forms.
5. Mix in the chocolate.
6. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or until firm.
7. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
8. Use a scoop or tablespoon to portion out evenly sized amounts of dough. Place them a few inches apart on the baking sheet. I can fit 6 balls of cookies on a half sheet. Sprinkle a pinch of Maldon sea salt on top.
9. Bake cookies for 10-12 minutes. Allow them to cool for a few minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cook further.

The leftover dough can be frozen in pre-formed balls and stored in an airtight container for later. They are freezable for up to 2 months. Allow to stand at room temperature for 15 minutes before baking from frozen.

Other Cookie Recipes I Keep On Hand

• Oatmeal Rye Chocolate Chip Walnut Everything Bagel Mix Cookie
• Lactation Cookies
• Salted Rye Chocolate Sable Valentines

When I remember to prioritize motherhood, Mondays are more beautiful. I am not rushing to do anything, I do not have any plans, and the kids can sense my presence. Probably because I ask them what they feel like doing, instead of telling them what the day holds. They notice I am looking at them rather than at my phone. There are more hugs, more laughs, more silliness and less chores, less separation, less tantrums. My mind isn’t focused on what to make for dinner or what to order on Amazon. They aren’t pulling at my pant legs and begging me to look at them.

Of course, this comes only with preparation. It doesn’t magically occur. Intention is key. Instead of planning out what the day will look like, I plan out how it’s going to FEEL like. Examples of words I jot down are:

• Relaxed
• Fun
• Full of Life
• Adventurous
• Calm
• Connected
• Rejuvenating
• Silly
• Creative

I aim for what we need at the time. Some seasons are full of life. Others are just whiling away at home. I used to be go-go-go. That’s partially my natural tendency and partially my upbringing. Listening to what is actually beneficial to us rather than what is comfortable to me has been helpful. I am learning how to be mindful alongside my children.

By the way, it helps to include the mother in those needs. Of course, the children have energy for days. The itinerary would be adventurous all the time if they were in charge. But that’s not sustainable for us as a family and me as a mom. I need to make sure I am not drained, otherwise it will be a bad experience for all. So I plan to wake up very early to do my workout. That requires sleeping early the night before. I also plan to have a moment of peace with my coffee, and to have breakfast prepped before bringing the kids down. During their naps, I allow myself to nap too. Or drink an espresso in the backyard on sunny days. Or snuggle up with a book under an electric blanket when it’s cold.

In the transitions between activity, I tidy along the way. But I don’t harp on having a clean home. Simple acts such as piling everything in the sink so the counters look clean without taking my time away from the kids is a game-changer. Asking the kids to “help” also is a creative way to be together, while also being productive. Helpful tasks I delegate include:

• Putting the shoes away after a walk or trip to the playground.
• Helping throw diapers in the trash.
• Sweeping up breakfast crumbs.
• Baking a sweet treat or dessert for lunch.
• Prepping baby’s bottle (big brother loves to do this).
• Putting books back into the basket (they love to sing the “Clean Up” song).

Other things I do to prep for an intentionally PRESENT Monday:

• Dock the phone during family time.
• Put my Airpods in during our walks and trips to the playground. I can listen to a podcast (my favorite one lately on motherhood is The Homemaker’s Club) while I push the kids in the Veer wagon.
• Opt for leftovers at lunch.
• Let go of perfection.
• Get outside! Honestly this is the best life hack. There are less distractions for me and the kids, they get their Vitamin D and fresh air, and it keeps the house tidy.

I had an epiphany this morning after a yoga session and subsequent taking inventory of my thoughts. Isn’t it amazing how open our minds become after stretching our bodies? As if we could stretch our ability to think past the boxes we’ve created for our brains, our motor neurons tied to the flexibility of our limbs. I love being reminded of this every time I return to the mat.

I digress. The epiphany. As I shared in my previous post, my search for balance is permeating this season of life. I am struggling to be present in my multiple life roles. Internalizing this shortcoming as my fault, I feel guilt no matter which role I am trying to live out. It’s all quite exhausting. Today though, a thought hit me like a bag of bricks.

You only require balance if you are doing more than one thing at a time.

Presence asks that one is focused on the here-and-now. Put another way, presence requires doing one thing at a time. And balance moderates multiple things. Therefore, presence and balance TRULY cannot coexist. The feeling of balance is a disguised solution to the crux of the issue at hand: I am not being present. In the face of this awareness, I continue resisting being present by trying to find a balance.

I guess I always defined balance as an artist would; As in a composition, distributing attention equally so that no part of the piece overpowers. But true presence is giving your all in the now. And if one part of the now becomes overpowering, perhaps the most present thing to do is to allow it to saturate life. Why do we try to subdue ourselves to a beige existence? Yeah, balance looks good from the outside. But our lives are not paintings hung on a museum wall for others to admire. Our lives are for US to admire. And it’s messy and sometimes ugly. It’s emotional and there are parts I’m not proud of. But to constantly edit? T’would be a shameful act.

The truth is, we exist in multitudes. And I do want balance. It makes me feel more at peace. But instead of thinking of it as a balanced work of art, we can view ourselves as a balanced collection of artwork. Our multitudes can coexist, but separately, vibrantly. An artist paints collection pieces at different times. Therefore the current piece must pervade the season.

I am struggling with balance because I am a mother to two young children and an entrepreneur building a new practice. Feeling like I need to nourish both RIGHT NOW is eating me up. My mind is not really here. Balance is taught as a commendable trait. To move through life with ease and fulfill the many roles society expects of you – that is what it means to be successful. Or so they say.

I am starting to believe balance is nothing but a fairytale. Embracing the imbalance and finding joy might be the best move for us all.

Will you move towards imbalance? How would it feel to let go?

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I am a big fan of habits. James Clear’s book Atomic Habits was one of my favorite, life-changing reads. Likewise, Twyla Tharp’s Creative Habits fortified my determination to get into writing. And before having kids, I mastered 5 daily habits for constant growth. I love habits so much that I reassess mine every month and at the beginning of seasons. As nature slows down for Fall, so will I. I hope to stay rooted in the habits that support rest. It won’t be easy in these early stages of motherhood and small business ownership. But even more necessary. I thought I’d share the 10 slow-it-down habits to adopt this Fall.

10 Slow-It-Down Habits to Adopt This Fall

1. Write every morning because writing my the best form of meditation.
2. Enjoy that cup of coffee in a thoughtful way.
3. Do mindful movement with yoga. Invite the kids to join when they need movement too.
4. Clear the schedule of obligations. It has been way too packed for the summer months.
5. Find space to do nothing. Ignore the to-do list more often. Just breathe.
6. Drop the social media or adjust your external influence. Let them be grounding ones. I have really been enjoying “We Are The Homemaker’s Club”.
7. Clear the counters and maintain a minimalist environment. Clear the head too.
8. Light candles whenever natural light is low but not completely gone.
9. Read fiction before bed. Non-fiction is another source of external influence that I need to quiet.
10. Go outside. Soak in the sun in the backyard. Walk by the lake. Swim in a pool. Take inspiration from the slowing of nature itself.

Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash

It’s been a very long time since I wrote about my Mondaze. I originally titled the series Case of the Mondaze because of my son’s nickname “Case”. Now that I have two, I’ve swapped Mondaze with a word that embraces my daughter’s nickname “Zades”. I’ve long loved Mondays as being my off-days. I have decided I will continue the trend of setting up my work life to have Mondays off. During their young years, I will dedicate Mondays to my kids. It’s our “family time”. Mostly, it’s a humbling sort of experience – trying to get through a Monday with two young children. Today in particular was a harrowing one. Casey woke up crying because he slept in and didn’t get to say Bye to his dad. I can tell right away that his cup is empty today. On days like that, the crying comes fast.

At breakfast, he refused to eat cereal with a spoon. In his hands went, digging at the milk as if it’s something tangible. Of course, it’s not. So I swapped the cereal for banana bread, which I was able to bake this morning before they woke up. Actually, my morning was stellar since I got a workout in, cleaned the floors and got myself dressed. Which goes to show that no matter how prepared you make yourself for the day, you just never know. Anyway, the banana bread ended up being a mutilated piece of dough as my son tried to select the chocolate chips out of it. His face looked like he ate mud. I eventually succumbed to giving him a popsicle. It was at least made of greek yogurt, fruit and honey.

After lunch, I washed his grubby hands and face. And then went back to the dining table to clean up the milk, mud, and ice cream. He pretended to fall on the floor and proceeded to cry, telling me he wants me to play with him instead. I explained as calmly as I could that I would, once I cleaned up the mess, to which he thrashed himself around and cried some more. Eventually, an invitation to help me clean up got him past his woes. I could tell he just needed some love and attention.

So we read books with his little sister until she got quite upset. It was her naptime but as I went to set her down, I realized quite quickly it was going to be a losing battle – for me. She was not interested in being held or going to sleep. I gave up after five minutes since I already knew, and I had no more will in me to fight battles for the rest of the day. Besides, swim class was in an hour. The nap was going to be short anyway.

I plopped both kids in the car and drove to the bank where I went to withdraw cash for the swim class. We arrived early so that Case could muck around the splash pad. During swim class, Case did not want to be on his back. GREAT. The instructor told him it wasn’t really a choice, as he fought her and said “No thank youuuuuuu” at the top of his lungs. I guess that was fun somehow because when she brought him over to me and he said “Bye” he started to cry because swim was over. Yikes.

Home we go. I asked if he wanted pesto orzo or yaki soba noodles. He said “green rice” so I made the orzo for him and noodles for Zades. To which he immediately screamed saying he wanted Zades’ noodles. She didn’t complain about the orzo, thankfully. He also ate my prawns which were spicy, just to prove a point I guess. Afterwards, I thought it would be a good idea to decompress by reading books. Turns out, he didn’t want Zades to even LOOK at the same book as him, let alone sit next to us. So he got mad and pushed her away, and my Scorpio daughter defended herself by screaming at his face which led to him crying because the screaming was overwhelming.

Eventually I got them down for their naps, and as I was cleaning up the toys downstairs, I realized that based on how today was going, this is my only chance to rest. I snuck a thirty minute nap in before my husband came home early to WFH (because he was sick) and Zades decided to wake up from her nap (because she was over-tired). I praise my foresight on the nap. Basically, I feel like a genius and ended this half day on a WIN.

How about you?

Photo by Kier in Sight Archives on Unsplash