The responsibility of managing our children’s environment lands on us parents. As minimalist versions of that, we have the extra challenge of defending our value of owning less stuff in a consumerist world. This becomes difficult as the holidays approach, wherein gifts are a core part of the tradition.
A previous version of myself would have ousted the people in my life who didn’t coincide with my beliefs in the name of “boundaries”, but I have thankfully grown since and learned that while I can control myself and my surroundings, I should never control people. Instead, I have learned that overluxuriance has a place in my minimalist world thanks to the magic of acceptance and love.
Still, my body is tingling with anxiety as I see the number of presents under the tree after ONE family gathering. (Three more to go). As I stare at our tree thinking, “How did it come to this?”, I take a deep breath. I smile, remembering the number of hands that held Casey at out recent get together. He is loved. That’s really what matters. Letting go of control, I move on.
So how does a minimalist manage holiday gifts for infants and kids?
- Manage expectations. It is best to have a conversation around gift-giving early. In the past, I wrote a no gifting letter. It was one of the best letters I ever sent because it set up the precedent for our family. You may be surprised at the number of people who welcome non-gifting as a new tradition! However, don’t be offended by those who resist. Remember that for some, gifts are a love language. And to take that away from them wouldn’t be fair either.
- Limit the gifts opened. At this age, you can control the number of gifts that your infant child opens. Grandma and Grandpa may be excited to see your baby grasp at wrapping paper. But they don’t have to open all their gifts in front of everyone. I mean, imagine how long that takes? A great way to reframe for others is to say that you value spending quality time with the family over gifts.
- Do not hype up the act of gift-opening. Instead of expressing extreme excitement over gifts, talk about them in a calm manner. Instead of counting down the days until we open presents, celebrate the season with an advent calendar. Lastly, rather than keeping the presents under the tree since Thanksgiving, maybe set them out a week or two before the holiday.
- Put away some toys for a rainy day. We got this advice from Mike’s mom. She used to hold back some of the kid’s toys, and then whip them out throughout the year as they get bored of their current ones. “It was a way of prolonging the season, and adding joy to throughout the entire year.”
- Be the guardian. Select which to keep. At the end of the day, they are still infants. The reality is that they won’t remember or understand what gift-opening is. Your decision making skills come in handy since, ultimately, you decide.
It bears repeating that we are the guardians of our homes. We control the influx of stuff that goes in them. Not that the goal of minimalism is to have the least amount possible. But, the art of knowing what is just right is an applaudable pursuit. In a world of excess, it is up to us to teach Baby Bear when things are just right.
