Slow Hosting

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure to learn more. 

On the heels of my previous post about simple recipes made for slow gatherings, I thought I’d share a few of my favorite tips when hosting a get-together or party. Slow hosting, if I may term it as such, takes upfront planning and work. Intentionality is key when deciding what to do in preparation. You could fall down rabbit holes and never dig your way out when considering what details need attending.

Surely, there are sources out there overwhelmingly filled with styling and decor, recipes of feasts fit for kings, as well as libation ideas invented by only the best bartenders. Perhaps I am alone in this, but I’ve fallen privy to over-thinking, and certainly over-doing, a few of my past parties. It’s easy to fall into that trap. However, it’s just as easy to avoid it, as long as I pay attention to a few details.

There are a few things about myself and hosting that I’ve learned to be true.

  • I would rather be a guest to my own party than a server and maid.
  • I would rather participate in deep conversations, delving into original ideas or passionate opinions, than skim the superficial waters of, “hi, how are you?”.
  • I would rather have a good, relaxing evening rather than stress and worry.
  • I want to care about the important things in life, like friends and family.
  • And lastly but most importantly, I want to have a good time with my husband rather than begrudgingly nitpick over details regarding some preformed, overly high expectation. I’ve found that if I set the bar too high for a gathering, I set the success rate extremely low for us as a couple.

So I’ve gathered a few tricks that keep me grounded when it comes to throwing parties. I hope it preps you for the future, where we will surely make up for lost time, gathering in safety and in peace.

  • Opt for a table cloth to immediately dress up any table. Seriously, after this, I feel like the decor is done.
  • Put down the table setting prior to your guests arriving to reduce work once the party starts.
  • Add simple stems in amber bottles or stick tall candlesticks in candle holders, rather than investing in expensive bouquets.
  • Forgo the place cards. Let guests sit where they like and mingle as they please.
  • Forget hanging up banners and buying party balloons, or other disposable item that will only add to the landfill. Trust that your home is good enough to celebrate in, without the temporary frills.
  • Place a linen napkin out for each guest, to reduce the amount of times you need to get up from the table to grab the paper towels.
  • Opt for glassware that can hold water, wine, beer or cocktail, in order to reduce the dishes you need to set out (and later wash).
  • Limit the amount of food types or drinks available. Sometimes, I have a theme or a set menu so as not to overwhelm the guests, or myself.
  • Choose recipes that can be made ahead of time. I am not only talking about side dishes and salads. I also include desserts and appetizers.I try to keep the main entree fresh.
  • Instead of mixing cocktails (which should really be fresh), opt for sangria or table wine. Also, beer or mimosas. Simple things that get the job done.
  • Clear the table at the very end, but toss all the dishes in the dishwasher (my favorite) or the sink. Do not wash them while the guests are here. There is time for that later. No space? A fellow small-home-dweller actually stashes them in the bathtub, to address after the guests have left, which I thought was genius.
  • Don’t be afraid of ordering food. You’d be surprised how many people favor pizza or Chinese take-out. You’re not a 1950’s housewife who has to prove your worth in the form of housewivery. You’re feeding a group of people who already love you for who you are. It’ll be fine.
  • Avoid white noise. That includes music. I suppose depending on the party. I dislike pausing conversation to lift up the needle on the record player. I also dislike when a playlist stops suddenly and someone has to fumble with a phone. My opinion is that, unless your gathering is focused on music listening, music is a distraction.
  • Don’t plan an itinerary. Trust that as the night progresses, things will naturally fall into place.
  • Ensure that there’s a hand towel and toilet paper rolls in the bathroom. Light a candle and set out hand soap.
  • Avoid the goodie bags and give-aways. It requires too much extra work and creates too much extra trash. If you really want to have the guests take home something, opt for consumables. One year for Thanksgiving, we gave away a jar of our favorite enchilada sauce, which we cooked and packaged the evening before. Another year, we baked everyone pastries for the following morning.
  • Finally, let go. Let go of all your expectations. Let go of the pretty Instagram pictures. Let go of your guarded nature. Just be a guest, really.

Restore ______.

This post is in partnership with Restore _____., a nail polish company focused on raising awareness on current social issues, especially those pertaining to women. This polish company donates a portion of their proceeds to non-profit organizations centered around these issues. Their subscription model ensures that monthly donations to multiple non-profit organizations are being made. If you’d care to learn more about this awesome company, read on. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own. And thank you for supporting the companies that support this space. 

If you could restore one thing in your life right now, what would it be?

Health.

Hope.

Peace.

Love.

Freedom.

Faith in a better tomorrow?

We’ve all been through tough times. During these moments, we experience different degrees of loss. Sometimes, it’s enough to just survive one more day. Currently, I just try to survive the news.

But what if we knew that there was a community holding us up? What if, during the tough times, there are people who have our backs? Wouldn’t that make it easier somehow? What if, instead of facing things alone, we face them united?

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Restore _____. was created with that in mind. Painting nails seem like such a frivolous activity, but adding meaning and purpose behind this simple act is something we can all get behind. The concept is as follows: we paint our nails a specific color during a particular month of the year to stand in solidarity against current social issues. The founder, Natacha Cabrera, wanted to grow support while raising awareness, especially around issues that affect women. The themes include pregnancy and infant loss, sexual violence, body image, mental health, women’s history, infertility, adoption, and motherhood.

A portion of the polish proceeds goes towards funding a non-profit organization related to the theme of the month. This allows people to donate towards a cause while doing their usual shopping. The clever idea of having a monthly subscription option means that monthly donations are being made to a number of different organizations. You may want to secure your spot, however, since there are only 100 monthly boxes going out per month. If you like surprises, you can also opt for a mystery box which comes with three different nail polish colors.

As far as the paint itself, it’s amazing. First, the polish is seven free, vegan, and cruelty-free. It is also made in the USA. Lastly, it paints on very nicely. Two coats is all it takes, and the polish is quite fluid which allows an even layer. I absolutely get bothered by globby nail polish that paints on bulky and bumpy. Painting with Restore ______. is a breeze.

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I, myself, chose the color for my birthday month – June. June was focused around mental health, which was also my own personal theme for the month of August. Painting nails is a way for me to force focus on one thing. It is a pause from the constant musings of my mind. Consider it a breather. It may seem strange to hear, but I set aside time specifically for this activity once a week. As in, I pencil it into my planner. It’s also one of the few ways in which I show myself care. I am not an overtly fashion-centered gal, but having neat, trimmed nails makes me feel put together even when my outfit of choice is a pair of scrubs.

I think that restoring that bit of time for myself was something I’ve struggled with my whole life. That’s the over-achiever in me. Perhaps that’s my word for the month. I am focusing on mental health, after all.

Restore self.

What about you?


FACTS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH

  • 1 in 5 Americans has experienced some form of mental illness.

  • 29% of Americans say they’re embarrassed to speak to people about mental health, even to medical professionals preventing them from seeking help.

  • 800K suicide deaths occur globally each year, with over 41,000 in the U.S. alone. It is the second leading cause of death worldwide for 15-29 year olds.

  • 70-90% of people who seek proper treatment for mental health disorders witness a significant reduction in symptoms.

If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

For information on mental health and treatment services in your area, call the Treatment Referral Hotline:

1-877-726-4727

How Californians Can Make Money Saving Electricity with OhmConnect

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure to learn more. 

What if I told you that Californians can get paid to save electricity? I mean, we should all already be working hard to reduce our energy bills, but sometimes, during mid-summer night’s heat wave for example, the last thing you want to do is turn off the electricity. I get it.

Not to fret. This is not the blog of deprivation. This is the blog of wealth, in all aspects of the word. In order to get paid, all you have to do is participate in saving electricity one hour at a time during designated “OhmEvents” with OhmConnect. OhmEvents pre-determined time periods when energy usage is typically the highest.

How to participate? Easy. OhmConnect will send you a text (usually a day before) about an upcoming hour-long OhmEvent which you can choose to participate in. You can power down as many electrical appliances as you want, unplug your chargers, turn off your A/C, procrastinate a little longer on the laundry and the dishwasher (be real, you were already doing it), and take the kids or roomies out to the park to expel energy into the ecosystem in a completely different way. If you have a SmartPlug, you can turn off your electronics via an app even when you are away from home. You can also hook up your Nest or smart thermometer to Ohm and it can turn off your device during the hour, to help you save further. Depending on how much kWh you decrease your usage by, you will be awarded points which translates to cash.

How does OhmConnect have the ability to pay people money?

The government pays a stipend or perk to not have carbon-intensive power plants turned on. The way in which this is prevented is by not reaching a certain energy usage threshhold. Meaning, the more people participating in OhmEvents, the less energy is used, and the more likely that the government will pay the stipend, which then partially gets divvied up and dispersed to Ohm participants.

OhmConnect Promotes Slow Living

Aside from the benefit of having a positive environmental and financial impact, there is also the incentive to practice slow living. Participating in an OhmEvent means turning off the TV for an hour and perhaps picking up a book. If it’s hot indoors, it may mean taking the kids to the park or beach outdoors where you longingly feel for an oceanic  breeze. Maybe it’s your cue to commit to that weekly run you wrote in your list of resolutions months ago. Does the Ohm hour land in the evening time? Plan a candle-lit dinner to rekindle your relationship with a loved one. Or teach the kids how to make forts using blankets and read using flashlights.

The best thing about OhmConnect is that it improves your life three-fold – you are leveling up your bank account, your environmental impact, but also (most importantly), your relationships.

How to Earn Even More Money

Spread the word.

When you sign up using my referral link, you will automatically get $10 added to your account for your good intentions. Furthermore, you can help make a bigger difference by getting your friends and family to sign up using your own referral link. For the month of Plastic Free July, all referred friends that sign up for Ohm will result in $40 cash for you, $10 cash for them. They will not receive the $10 if they did not sign up using a referral link, which is why I provide mine here.

We have only been doing this one week, but to be honest with you, it’s very fun. I sent my referral link to my dad who already procrastinates dishes and laundry until after 9 p.m. in order to reduce the electricity bill, and he was stoked to save money and get paid doing it, too!

I think it’s kind of fun finding activities that revolve around zero-electricity usage. But hey, if you really want to, you can still use your laptop or iPhone unplugged.

After one week, I have earned $81 using OhmConnect! I love it, and I think many people would too.

Let me know how it goes 🙂

Intentional Living: Hydration

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure to learn more. 

When I was younger, I was too busy for water breaks. I would only drink water at lunch and dinner, consumed by my long to-do list of juggling three jobs and school, plus extra-curricular activities. I couldn’t give up a minute of my time to take a sip, because there were more important things to do. But times have changed. You could say I’m still the same person (busy as ever) who has taken a turn with regards to hydration.

Drinking water has become such a high priority for me that it is the first thing I do when I wake up and the last thing I do before bed. My planner and daily agenda notepads have water intake indicators to keep me on track. Despite having an active and busy lifestyle, I make sure to give back to my hard-working body by staying hydrated. I keep a glass with me at all times – whether I’m blogging on the balcony, writing notes in between patients, heading out to run errands, or reading a book in bed. Hydration, after all, is the ultimate form of self-care. Water not only refreshes our bodies and maintains balance, it also provides us with energy.

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The KINTO workout bottle makes sure that I accomplish just that. I am a lover of good design, and the Japanese company KINTO delivers. They embrace minimalist aesthetics without neglecting function. When I was looking for a new bottle to accompany me on my everyday routines, I definitely focused on both practicality AND beauty.

I am always carrying my water bottle with me everywhere, with the running joke between my husband and I that I would likely die of “the thought of thirst” if I left my water at home. Therefore, I was searching for something light and portable. The transparent, sporty BPA-free bottle has an elastic attached to the lid that makes transportation care-free. In all honesty, it’s a product that simply fits “right” in my hands. I can just as easily hold onto it by the tab (if it’s the only thing I’m bringing with me, for example when going on a run) as I can throw it into a bag.

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Additionally, the bottle has two removable lids. The top lid gives way to a narrow spout from which I can glug unabated by the thought of spilling water all over my shirt. The second lid can be removed if I wanted to throw in ice, fruit or garnish to liven up my drinking routine. Sliced cucumber is a luxurious addition and makes for a pretty display. However, it is important to note that dry ice and carbonated drinks should not be housed in the bottle to prevent breakage or damage. Of course, that’s fine by me since I’m not a fan of sparking water or other carbonated drinks.

One of the factors I considered when researching the right bottle was the ease of cleaning. I love that all KINTO products use a removable rubber stop that prevents the growth of mold or residue build-up from occurring. All five pieces (if you include the rubber seals) are dishwasher safe and do not require immediate drying. This, along with the light weight of the bottle, is the reason why I chose the workout bottle over their more famous and popular travel tumblers.

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As silly as it sounds, I also appreciate the measurement marks on the sides of the bottle indicating how much water it contains in ounces and millilitres. The bottle holds up to sixteen ounces of water, twelve if you’re adding ice or fruit. Like the planners, the marks help keep me on track with my water intake goals.

The bottle comes in many colors, but of course, I chose the classic clear . I have gotten many comments on its minimalist style and simple beauty. I definitely think it’s a piece that deserves applause. No wonder it’s featured in MoMa’s well-curated Design Store. KINTO always seems to hit the nail on the head.

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Habits to create around drinking water.

  • Drink a glass of water the minute you awake every morning. Leave a glass by your bedside every night.
  • Drink water after you finish your morning coffee.
  • Order water at a restaurant and drink a full glass before your meal arrives. Not only will this curb your appetite and monitor how much you actually eat, but it will help the digestion process.
  • After a workout, drink an entire bottle.
  • To increase the chances that you’ll drink water, keep it where you can see it.
  • Add sliced fruits or hibiscus leaves to make water more enticiing.
  • Drink water without ice barring exceptionally hot days. It helps with digestion.
  • Drink a glass after every meal.
  • Drink a glass before bed.

This post is sponsored by KINTO, a Japanese company that focuses on bringing tableware, drinkware, and interior items that bring its owners a sense of joy. Each of their items are heavily considered for the ease of integration into one’s lifestyle, without sacrificing the beauty of everyday things. All thoughts and opinions are my own. 

For those wondering, the water in my KINTO bottle is not sparkling water. However, we have a filtration system in our home that selectively removes and adds in certain nutrients, in order to optimize our water for coffee. This may explain the slight bubbling that you see in our filtered water. Also, acidic fruits should be avoided, since the bottle is not made of triton and the acidity could damage or mark the bottle. 

Below, I list a few more KINTO favorites.

Simple Things: Ikebana

It’s Mother’s Day and while most of the Western world is showering their moms with love in the form of large bouquets and wreaths, I figure I’d share a personally preferred minimalist and intentional flower arrangement – ikebana.

The art of ikebana is a Japanese way of making bouquets. Translated literally, it means “making flowers alive”, which to me is poetry itself. Rather than focusing on gathering as many flowers as possible, the art requires a curation of sorts. Typically, only five to thirteen stems are used, and a flower frog with pins are employed to arrange the flowers in a romantic way.

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Unlike flower bouquets lining groceries and florist shops, these arrangements use stems and leaves, even blades of grass. Whatever is calling to the artist is included. It’s the ultimate proof that beauty can be found in even the simplest of things.

I like the practice of Ikebana because it adds an element of mindfulness to the process. Not needing to drive to a floral shop or pay for flowers, I pick simple buds or greenery that I find on walks around the neighborhood. What captures my attention depends on the day, and sometimes even twigs will appear wondrous in their own right. I collect a handful of treasures and curate them when I get home. Curating is arguably the most difficult part, but also my favorite. I put to use everything I know about creating an intentional home and apply it to ikebana.

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I’ve chosen these beautiful vessels from Notary Ceramics, a hand-thrown pottery located in Oregon dishing out the most beautifully minimalist pieces. There are two that I like – one with a water bowl in the center and only a few spaces for stems, and a smaller one with more opportunity for fronds and the like, but without a water bowl.

The water is another element of ikebana. It is said that one shouldn’t care whether petals or leaves fall into the water, for there is beauty in the imperfections, too. I love when soft petals float over the water’s surface, or when small buds break off from their stems into the pool.

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As you’ve probably guessed, for Mother’s Day I gifted my mother one of these flower frogs from Notary Ceramics. I hope that she keeps it by her bedside table, or in the center of the kitchen island for the morning light to shine on. I imagine her finding a few whimsical strands of nature when she walks our family dog with my father. I hope she remembers what it was like to be a child, carrying treasures home from her adventures. May she find a creative moment each week that lends beauty to her home as she carefully chooses her pickings. May more people practice a simpler art, daily, and bring joy to mother’s everyday after Mother’s Day.

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Thoughts On: This Surprise

I know it’s hard for people to live in a world that feels so reduced. Trust me, you are not. Trust me, I’ve been there.

It’s quite the sensation feeling like you’ve got nothing left to lose. Like all your decisions led you here. Trust me, I’ve been there.

I know what it’s like feeling enslaved by a system. Despite losing your freedom to move, you still have the freedom to choose
how to continue living when you’re tied to stillness and a snail’s pace. But even snails get somewhere.

You don’t have money, god knows I never did, but you have a brain, your health, love, hope, dreams, a breath. And if it were only one of these things, I’d venture to call THAT a life,
This a phase,
You, a force,
The world, your oyster,
The virus, a lesson.

Because the best thing I ever learned was that nothingness is a gift, and starting from the bottom means there’s an up. Something to look forward to and make life worth living. Nowadays I choose to live with less, knowing ultimately people can’t tell me what I can’t do, and if you dig deep enough into the recesses no one else is willing to touch, you will find that all you need for a good life is with you in the form of a past that no one can take, a future that only you can destroy, and a present which we are always lamenting but the great thing about having nothing is not having anything to lament.

Is it so bad not being able to know what can happen next? I bet it’s the first time in years that you haven’t tried to plan or control your entire life. In a way, I’ve found myself worrying less. Moving with the tide. Sleeping in without guilt. Forgetting the days.

Isn’t this what living is — Letting things unfold in due time?

I don’t know about y’all, but this was a good surprise.

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Intentional Living: S/Os in S.O.S.

I wouldn’t exactly consider myself accredited to talk about relationships or give relationship advice. In fact, I would gander that giving love advice broaches dangerous territory, and in an effort to not sound insensitive of other people’s situations, I acknowledge that in some households, there are bigger things to worry about regarding the stay-at-home mandate’s effects on significant others. I assure you, this post is not meant to belittle that fact. Rather, I only mean to share with the world what I am personally experiencing firsthand. What we are personally experiencing firsthand.

Which is, a state of S/Os in S.O.S.

In light of that, here goes.

How many times since the start of this COVID lockdown have I heard the words, “So-and-so is driving me insane.”? You may have even said it yourself. I know I have.

Since the advent of spending much of our time stuck in hobbit holes with our closest and dearest, the act of tending to our relationships has moved to the forefront of our head space (and house space). Unexpectedly, people have found themselves spending a LOT of time with someone they once voluntarily chose to be with, involuntarily. For some, I would hazard a guess that there has come to surface an awareness of disconnect.

With regards to relating with your better half, have you found yourself on edge? Do you find yourself bickering, nagging, or rolling your eyes? Are you praying to return to work just so you can step outside? Are you wondering, “Who this stranger is before me and why they are suddenly at my gym, my work place, AND my house?!”

To be fair, you are also in theirs.

Let’s face it. We aren’t used to being in our relationship twenty-four-seven. Most of us haven’t had the time to get to know our significant others outside of the home. Perhaps some of their at-work habits are foreign and new to us. As awful as it sounds, we also don’t know how to balance the role of being a significant other concurrently with the other roles we play. We are now expected to be the supportive figure at the same time as being the parent, home-school teacher, nurse, and money maker. Hardly a sustainable lifestyle. We are used to having things to do, places to go, ‘I’ll see you when I get back’. I know it isn’t fair, but it isn’t anybody’s fault either. It just is … erm, was.

I’ll be the first to say that this shift has been very hard for me. I’m an introvert, I like my privacy, I’m used to being busy, and I prefer an itinerary. Also read as – I’m withdrawn, controlling, anxious, and rather inflexible. So I’m sure it has been hard for the other party, as well.

Despite the difficulty, there are a few things you can do to combat your frustrations with a significant other. This whole new way of living takes some adjustment, surely. A change of pace, definitely. A new perspective? That’s on you.

When I am struggling, I try to remember this:

We are the gatekeepers of our homes, the guardians of our children, the warriors of our own existence and, also, the builders of our love. 

As with any relationship, it takes work, probably the last thing you want to hear. Below, I wrote a few suggestions that will allow both you and your loved one a chance to successfully survive this period of stay-at-home, hopefully even thrive. I’ve thought long and hard about these, because we’ve had to implement a few in our house, too. In fact, we sat down and made this list together. Hardly romantic, but absolutely necessary. If you’d prefer, instead of reading mine you can make a list that works for you.

So far, here’s what we’ve got.

  • Carve out alone time. We live in a busy, fast-paced world – or at least, we did. We aren’t well practiced in spending every waking moment with our significant others, especially not in isolation. So I can understand why for some, myself included, this sudden requirement to stay within the confines of a home with certain persons can feel unnerving. The air starts to feel edgy, people’s personalities get testy. It’s okay to feel encroached upon at this time. Being isolated in a space with the same person can feel maddening, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. If you think about pre-COVID (because this pandemic has now become a marker of a before and an after), we had a flurry of activities to tend to – work, school, kids, parents, friends, life in general … spaces we had to ourselves without a significant other. Perhaps, the way to transition is to carve out some “alone time”; time where you aren’t nagging each other about chores-to-be-done, asking insidious questions about lifestyle choices, judging each other silently or aloud… you get the gist. Getting used to being around each other 24/7 takes patience. We’ve had many years to train how to live life being apart. We can’t fully expect ourselves to immediately know how to live constantly together. By carving out alone time, you can slowly transition into a life of being in the same space, all the time (still sounds scary, I know). You can start to learn the tiny nuances that make a person tick, or dance. Just make sure to take it slow, lest you overwhelm your significant other with your own quirky “charms”.
  • Schedule dates with other people. By the same token, we are social creatures. We need social stimuli from multiple different people. Therefore, it is important to expose ourselves to people other than our significant other, digitally speaking of course. Schedule Skype dates with friends you would normally have Happy Hour with, make Zoom meetings to keep up with book clubs, or pick up the phone and chat with your mum about whatever is going on in her life. You can choose to include your significant other in these activities or not, but I guarantee you that the time spent with other people can really widen your appreciation for those who are already close at hand.
  • Find something new to learn together. Do you recall the days when your relationship first blossomed? Earlier years when you were both navigating the world together, learning things that you never knew before? How to balance a checking account. How to apply for a mortgage. How to read a cat, survive college, or grieve for a loved one. Along the way, you were learning things about each other, too. The way one laughs or what makes them chortle. The way a person responds to a challenge. The way we show love. Can we go back to that again? Sure, we can’t pretend to be strangers or turn back time. But maybe we can find something new to learn or do. We are creatures of novelty. Maybe the initial embers that burned in the hayday of a relationship have been blown out, but it doesn’t take much to stoke driftwood back to life. A little prodding, a gasp of oxygen, a teensy spark. So it goes with love.
  • Pivot. Every relationship has a different dynamic and we have to respect that. What if you took the previous advice and found yourselves at the last straw, arguing over the best way to learn something new? Perhaps you have different learning strengths, pace, or interests? Or did you read my previous advice and already know from the get-go this would never work. In each case, pivot. Pivoting is the only way you can prevent problems from turning into disasters. It is a most necessary ingredient of love, the sphere wherein to practice compromise. It is the best thing in our arsenal, and also the most freeing.
  • Hash it out. I am not against fighting. In fact, I think tending to a relationship sometimes requires a fight. Because when you’ve tried and pivoted and still feel perturbed, then there is something amiss. Remember when we were children and we got in some really good scuffles between brothers and sis? Shoves in the sand, nails and skin, bite marks and hiss? I do. And it felt GOOD. And we were FINE. We didn’t love each other any less. We were just upset. I’m not saying physical punishment is by any means the way to go (we’re adults now, remember?), but neither is bottled anger. Healthy relationships should have honest conversations, blatant words strung into hard-to-hear sentences, even tears. I’ve heard of couples who never fight, but I also have seen couples who never talk. You can’t fight if you don’t speak up, just as you can’t wholly exist in a relationship if you don’t have a say. Before you pick a fight with your significant other under my advice, do heed the following. Firstly, pick your battles. I wrote this post with intention, and compromise came first (see pivoting above). Second, be direct. None of this behind-the-back spitting and double meaning words. Say what you mean in the most direct way possible. And thirdly, help them fix it. Come up with a suggested solution or a plan. Do your part in identifying what you need. There are no mind readers here, as much as we want there to be.
  • Get a counselor. Sometimes, what we really need in a scuffle is for mom and dad to step in. Well in this case, preferably not mom and dad. But a third party person who can be trusted, who has an even-footing, and who is more level-headed than two very angry lovers. Some feel a dark tinge hanging about the edges of the word ‘counselor’, although I know of a few good professionals, but even a non-licensed friend would do. At least find somebody who can dilute and fizzle out whatever tension there is. A friend, a sibling, a mate, a co-worker … certainly not the parents. A coach or a referee, doesn’t matter to me.

Lastly, it’s a choice. In the end, I’m not saying stay. It’s a choice, after all. Some people will choose them-self, some will choose each other. There isn’t a right, or wrong. But a word of caution for those who’ve reached the end of the road. This situation IS temporary. If it worked out for you during the normal routine, then it won’t be long until we are back at it again. The before and after are very different environments, and not every relationship flourishes in any habitat. Just because isolation isn’t a good environment for you two to be in, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be together at all.

Also, things take time. Getting used to a new situation is always stressful, but we are highly evolved to adapt, and adapt well. In fact, we adjust better working as part of a team. If you’ve made a pact, I have no doubts you’ll survive this. I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. You can cry today but tomorrow it’s my turn. Watch the kids in the morning and I’ll watch them at night. Hakuna mata, yata yata.

Good luck, stay strong, believe.

Self-Check COVID-19

Hi there! Checking in on the community today. Calling friends and family. Writing a reminder on the calendar to follow up on a few peeps I haven’t seen in some while. I’m bad with this kind of stuff. I don’t do it often, mirroring my wish to be left alone onto others. But it’s been tough. So, how are you doing? (Mirroring, again.)

Have the kids driven you crazy yet?
Is the home stifling your creativity?
Does the rain and gloomy weather wear you down?
Are you and your hubby still friends?
Can you even look each other in the eye?

Questions no one else is asking. 

I get it. I’ve felt similarly, too.

It’s time for a self-check. Despite a world that tells us otherwise, attending to basic needs is part of a productive checklist, albeit an invisible part. Every little thing that makes this grand thing a tiny bit better is worth its weight in gold.

Today, I list a few things that are keeping me afloat (and surprisingly sane).

  • Morning yoga stretches with Adriene.
  • Mindful mugs of coffee with breakfast. You can take a few notes from Gina Stovall here.
  • Avoiding the news of impending doom.
  • Farmer’s Market finds, and the resulting treats.
  • Frequently picking up books, putting them down, picking up others. Currently.
  • Revamping the home, de-cluttering, re-organizing, and when all else fails, playing pretend.
  • Organizing plans, scheduling posts and jotting schemes, scheduling self-checks, etc.
  • This blog and the words I’ve written. Thank you for being here.

How about thyself? What have you found helpful? Is there anything I can do for you? What would be comforting to see? What would you like to learn? How can we lighten the morbidity? Or at least forget, for a few…

Lastly, a bit of transparency. 

This blog has become not only a haven for my ideas and thoughts, but also, a small business that profits mostly from its partnerships with certain brands. A curation of goods and services are shared in this space, sometimes in the form of affiliate marketing, interviews, features, or reviews. Regardless, all brands that I work with are well-aligned with who I am as a person. I am proud to be in partnership with these brands, and I am proud of the space we have created, hand-in-hand.

As the state of global affairs progress, I am sad to say that many of these small businesses, myself included but more importantly, those of my brand partners, have suffered tremendous loss. In an effort to support as many of my friends as possible, I will be adding a number of banners and reviews here in the coming days. Some may result in a small commission, shall you choose to support these companies or make a purchase.

For those who are interested in helping out, the best ways to support involve spreading the word. Share pages that you find helpful with your friends and family. Share courses that you think can improve the world with people in need. Share the names of brands doing good to create global change. With each other’s support, we can survive this. Or at least, stay afloat.

There are bloggers who have been recently asking for donations to keep their sites going during this slump. Instead, I’d rather request for Hello’s in the comments below. Make suggestions. Ask questions. Get to know one another. Foster a community. That is enough for me.

Once again, it means so much to me to have you here.