How to Gain Enough Financial Independence To Quit Your Job

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure to learn more.

Yesterday, a dentist came to the dental practice to do a working interview. He would be the doctor to take my place at our busy practice. Upon meeting me, he asked why I was leaving. I told him the truth – that I wanted to take a break from dentistry and spend time living life.

He looked at me quizzically, as if confused by the language I spoke.

“But what are you going to do with your student loans?,” he asked incredulously.

So I explained to him our financial journey. I tried to tell him that we live a life of financial independence. We don’t make our life decisions based on money alone. Rather, we decide what to do based on a happiness meter.

“But how can you do that? Aren’t you worried about your debt?”

When I told him no, that we had planned ahead for a lifestyle such as this, he scoffed lightly and said, “Most people decide to do that after loans are done.”

I simply shrugged and said, “I guess.”

I didn’t really have the energy at the time to convince someone that it is possible to live life financially independent. I recognized someone not ready to open up to the possibility of an alternative life, free of societal expectations and a pre-formulated timeline.

Even though we still have student debt, we have created all the micro-steps to be paid ahead of our original plan, build wealth, and have the reserves needed to create flexibility in our lives. What I did not explain to him was that most people are on a 20-25 year forgiveness plan. Only a few tackle a ten year repayment plan. We were on track for six years, despite having one of the largest debts possible caused by higher education. We have not ignored retirement accounts and have secured a real estate property that is both commercially zoned AND a residential address. We built a savings account that can support a 14-month hiatus from work without curbing our spending or selling our house. (If we sell our house, neither of us need work for over three years and still support our current living expenses, although I hardly see us not working for a few months in reality because that’s just my personality…) We made certain life decisions, such as buying a home in a lower-income area, choosing not to have kids (sorry mom and dad!), living a frugal lifestyle, prioritizing our passions over money, and living a life of less waste in order to get to this place. Some of these decisions were harder than others. We were both born into families that could not financially help us and we have worked hard and diligently to be here.

If he hadn’t been so judgmental about my decision to quit, I probably would have told him how he could do it, too.

On here, I wanted to share with those who were interested exactly how to gain financial independence and quit your job, if you wanted. It isn’t for everyone, and the path might not look exactly the same. I suppose in the end, I can only speak for myself, my life, and what I have done.

I am not sharing this because I think this is the best way to live life. I am sharing this because in resigning from work, I had more people come out of their shell and tell me that they’ve always wanted the freedom to do the same, but feel trapped in the workplace. I am sharing this because I want people to have hope and empowerment. I genuinely want to help.

Here is my not-so-secret, not-rocket-science, not-traditional, not-socially-approved-nor-socially-accepted way of gaining enough financial independence amidst student-debt enslavement to quit a job that was not right for me.

1. Figure out what you want in life.

Decide on your main priorities. Identify your values and try to marry your lifestyle with those values. Only then can you curate your life in a way that brings you complete joy.

2. Eliminate all the unnecessaries.

For me, that meant unnecessary material things, as well as unnecesssary people. Even quitting my job was a practice of getting rid of the unnecessaries. It started with de-cluttering my life, then severing toxic relationships, then separating myself from obligation and societal expectations and norms. Now, I have the ability to assess whether things improve my life or not. If not, then I let go.

3. Begin to grow your wealth.

After steps one and two, all that is left are the bits of life that add value. It started with Mastering a Budget. I wrote an entire course on how to do it, and I shared it with the world for free. I have been told by my students that it has been helpful to their journey. Here are a few testimonials:

Prior to this course, I considered myself pretty familiar with my expenses and a mindful shopper. However, at the end of each month I constantly found myself wondering where all my income had gone. I realized that I was in denial about my budgeting skills & decided to purchase this course. “Mastering a Budget” challenged me to think hard about my goals and how my finances play a role in achieving such goals. Developing a clear understanding of my “why” for budgeting has kept me on track when I feel like I am going off course with my finances. While on this budgeting journey, I realized that I was spending more than expected on certain categories and not saving nearly enough towards my goals. Additionally, the frugal challenges detailed in the course put me outside of my comfort zone but had long last financial benefits that I will continue to carry on. “Mastering A Budget” provided me with the motivation and tools to create a budget that is well suited for my lifestyle and goals. I highly recommend this course to everyone!

“Having graduated with a significant amount of student debt, I realized I needed to be more aware of my budget and how I spend my money. However, I did not have much insight on how to properly manage my finances let alone having a game plan on how to do so. This course not only helped provide me a fundamental understanding on budgeting, but was also very concise and easy to follow. To anyone that wants to better understand budgeting but doesn’t know where to start, I would definitely recommend this course.”

If you want to learn how to start a budget, sign up to receive this free guide on creating a budgeting tool that works for you.

4. Get rid of debt.

We use the snowball method to tackle debt. Trust someone who has a lot of it – this part is no fun, but necessary. I decided that I would not feel financially free until I remove the debt completely. I did not want to wait for a government to remove it 20-25 years later. I know myself well enough to understand that I would psychologically feel the burden of my debt until it was completely gone. If I had chosen a loan forgiveness plan, I would not only depend on the government’s promise to pay off the debt, but I would also be completely dependent on my job. Dependency on a job was the last thing I wanted. Here is why:

My father was very dependent on his job – he had a family to support. He had to do things that were not aligned with his values in order to keep his work. His job as a sales engineer was stressful for him, as his higher-ups dumped uncomfortable confrontations between the factory and the company on their middle man. He then had to give up his pride as he went on to his second job as a janitor for Staples on weeknights. When that ended, he worked at Hollywood Video pushing tapes at a check-out stand alongside high-school teenagers. When we were older, he worked weekends at Robinson’s May, where his boss who paid him minimum wage forced him to miss the important things in life – like his children’s performances and sports matches. He finally quit his retail job when his boss threatened to fire him because he did not want to work on Christmas Eve. I remember the night he came home. He seemed very proud of standing up for what is right, but also, a bit beaten by a system holding him down. After watching my father go through that, I vowed to fight for my financial freedom so that all his sacrifices and hard work were not in vain.

If you have trouble paying off your credit card debts, you can always try The Credit Pros. They will help identify the most damaging and most helpful credit items, as well as provide advice and educational tools.

5. Save as much money as possible.

This may seem like basic advice, but seriously, be as frugal as possible. We experimented with many ways to pinch pennies, such as eating rice and beans for a whole week, as well as taking on a room-mate as a married couple. All of my frugal challenges can be found here. I would highly recommend implementing as many frugal life-hacks as you can!

6. Build an emergency fund.

An emergency fund can reflect your risk tolerance. We are both risk averse people. I wanted to have a healthy buffer via an emergency fund in preparation for unexpected expenses. Some budgeting strategies allow for flexibilities within the budget so that emergency funds are unnecessary. Despite keeping additional savings in each category of our budget for unexpected events, we still keep a separate emergency reserve. I know it’s traditionalist, but diversifying financial strategies is one way we prepare for the future. In order to speed up the process, keep your money reserved in a high-yield savings account. We have opened an account with Marcus, and you can use this referral link to earn an additional 0.2% APY for up to 3 months.

7. Invest in the future.

We could have easily been close-minded and focused on attacking my student debt wholly. But I wanted to be very well-rounded in our financial approach, so we made sure to contribute to our 401-K retirement accounts (we each have one) along the way. Even though it means slowing down our loan repayment progress, it also meant diversifying our assets in order to compensate for the ups and downs life might throw our way. If you do not have a business or work for a company that provides a 401-K account, look into opening up a Roth IRA.

8. Look to real estate.

Rent in California is not cheap. Once we set up our 401-K’s, removed credit card debt, and funneled our hard-earned dollars towards my student debt with auto-payments, we started to look at buying a home because we viewed renting as a sure-fire way to throw away money. We had saved an emergency fund in step 5, and essentially used that emergency fund as a down-payment. Being the avid finance people that we were, we had been eyeing the market for the past two years. This allowed us to know the price point within our budget, as well as knowing the best bang for buck in our particular area. We ended up purchasing a commercially zoned live/work loft which is considered both a business and a residence for less than my student debt! Since we spent some of the emergency fund money, the minute we bought the house, we started all over again and grew our emergency fund back to what it was over the course of the next year.

9. Create passive income streams.

On top of our jobs, which provides active income streams, we wanted to set up sources of passive income. I have alluded to a few of those passive income streams above. One passive way to build wealth is our Marcus Savings Account, which gains interest over time and builds our emergency fund. Another is our 401-K, which gains interest over time and builds our retirement fund. A third is our room-mate which helps pay down our mortgage and build equity. Even this blog brings in passive income from past posts via affiliate links. I like things that continue to grow even when left alone. There are many ways you can create passive income, and I would definitely set yourself up for success in those venues because you never know what will happen to your active income stream.

10. Earn more money.

There are many ways to earn more money. I personally love the side-hustle. In the past few years, I have been a dog-sitter on Rover, worked at a bakery, opened my own bakery, baby-sat, made wedding favors, signage and decorations, sold my stuff on Poshmark, and wrote on this blog. I am not trying to sound insensitive to the effects of COVID on many people’s work lives. The opposite is actually true. I want to instill hope that there are ways to earn money all the time. People just have to think outside the box. A few examples relevant to this time in particular:

baby-sitting so that WFH parents can focus for at least an hour a day
tutoring to help kids who have fallen behind in their schooling
meal-prepping for over-extended parents and family members
financial planning or guidance for those who want to get out of debt accrued this year
mental health services for those who suffer from stress or depression
online yoga classes via ZOOM (so what if you’re not a certified yoga instructor?)
create websites for small businesses that need a digital place to grow
a longer list in my previous post: The Ever-Growing List Of Ways To Earn Extra Income.
for early morning people, check out these 15 early morning jobs to jump start your day!

I know these are only a few examples, but before you can find ways to earn extra income, you need to first give yourself permission to do so. It’s possible you may find that you are the only one stopping yourself from making more money!

Despite Mike not working since February, despite COVID, despite dental offices closing down temporarily, I feel a strong sense of certainty that taking time off during this most stressful and precarious time is the right move for living a balanced life. I only speak for myself, but have found that in doing so, other people have reached out to ask just how.

I hope this has been somewhat helpful, but I know that none of this happened over night. Small steps every day is what it takes to create the space for change. If it feels too over-whelming to think about, try to start with Step 1. Write down your wildest dreams, your values, the things that excite you… Then go from there.

I want to sincerely offer advice so as always, do not hesitate to reach out if you need a helping hand with getting started or finding your way. If you want to read more, here are a few posts you may be interested in.

Related Posts:

Curating Closets: Sustainable and Frugal Second-hand Shopping with Poshmark

It is no secret that I am a proponent of sustainable products and ethical consumerism. When it comes to choosing companies worth promoting in this humble space, I am definite about which ones make the cut. I am aware of the fact that doing so alienates a majority of the population because most items of the eco-conscious and socially impactful variety have a higher cost.

However, we must remember that this cost we refer to is only monetary. If we compare the true costs of alternative “cheaper” options in terms of environmental and social impact, then I would argue that the monetary number is worthwhile.

Naturally the best option, always, is to consume less in order to have the most impact. After all, the most sustainable clothing are the ones already in your closet.

Additionally, less shopping means we will be spending less of our money on cheap goods and collecting our hard-earned dollars for a few things that actually hold value.

Yet, we cannot ignore the fact that there IS a gap.
I speak with privilege.
Especially during this trying time, my promotion of certain companies could border insensitive.
I promise this is not my intention.

Luckily, frugal sustainable options lie in second-hand shopping, made available by companies such as Poshmark. By choosing to shop used, we reduce our environmental footprint. In buying second-hand, those who cannot normally support companies doing good, can. Used products have a lower price range, which means clothing made of higher-quality materials in safe and ethical factories are more attainable to a larger population.

Additionally, by sending dollars to those wishing to de-clutter ethical goods, we are also giving money to those who have the ability to further support slow fashion. I would like to think that someone who made a conscious decision about a particular company would continue to do so next time. I would therefore be willing to support their future purchases in the slow fashion industry.

For those who are just naturally frugal, buying second-hand is a wonderful opportunity. Deals and steals can continually be found through Poshmark. Plus, the platform is free to all users. Also, the “Like” button allows shoppers to bookmark clothes while they think about their purchases (does anyone follow the 30-day rule?).

Lastly, Poshmark promotes collaboration between buyer and seller. Finding a price that works for both parties is simple. The “offer” button allows the buyer to name their price, while giving the seller the option of accepting or replying with a different fee. Likewise, the seller can create a “bundle” of items from their shop and offer a discount to the buyer for buying multiple items at one time.

Shipping is made easy, with the buyer having to pay for the shipping fee. Once the sale goes through, Poshmark e-mails the seller a shipping label, and all the seller has to do is package the product and drop it off at the nearest USPS.

I myself am a seller at Poshmark (find me @cordeliabyrant), and I have high confidence in the platform after one occasion wherein my mailed package was deemed lost. Poshmark still paid me for the product AND refunded the buyer their money. That kind of guarantee allows me to continue using Poshmark with peace of mind.

I am frequently asked the question, “How could you write about frugality while also writing about expensively ethical products?”

I am still a frugal person. I find ways to get products that hold value using alternative ways. Below are five frugal life hacks.

I have a running wish-list which I refer to during birthdays and holidays. For larger purchases, I ask multiple family members to pitch in for a single gift. This also helps me be a minimalist while solving the problem of receiving unnecessary stuff from others.
I receive many products to review through this space, which is essentially part of my job. I count products as part of my income on my monthly income reports. Combined, life hack #1 and #2 make a majority of my stuff #gifted.
I buy second-hand through companies such as Poshmark and Craigslist to try to close the loop. I mean, even our couch is from Craigslist! Likewise, I sell my used items on these sites too, which keeps them out of the land-fill (hopefully).
I borrow my way through life. My mom is the opposite of me. She is sentimental about things, so she keeps a lot of them. I rummage through the boxes in my parents’ garage first, in search of any buried gems.
Only when I’ve exhausted all my options do I buy directly from the company. If I ever buy from a company myself, I wait for a sale or discount. I avoid paying full-price for brand new items at all costs.

45 Quarantine Activities That Save Energy AND Earn Money

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure to learn more.

Just a few weeks ago, I shared a little bit about a side hustle gig that allows Californians to earn money while saving energy. OhmConnect is a third party that will partner with PG&E, SCE, and SDG&E to track your particular household’s electricity usage. During their one-hour events, you are prompted to reduce your energy spending at times when average energy usage runs high. They return the favor by paying you. Yes, REAL money. In an effort to not sound redundant, I will simply link the previous post here in case you missed it.

Our house has participated in a few of these events and I want to say that it actually works! And we’ve had a ton of fun trying to brainstorm a slew of alternative activities. It’s a chance of a lifetime to go off-the-grid without really going anywhere. The challenge lies in the fact that, still in California, there is a semi-shut-down. Movie theatres and shopping malls are still closed, the schools are out, and the restaurants are to-go or outdoor seating only. So… what do we do?

Here, I collected a list of quarantine-friendly activities that do not require electricity. Some may require a phone or laptop, but you can plan ahead for those. It doesn’t say zero electronics, only zero electricity. Charge away!

Learn a language with Duolingo.
Do a yoga routine with Adriene.
Pick up a book and catch up on your reading.
Budget with YNAB.
Already have a budget? Learn to master it.
Plan the dream vacation.
Start earning credit card points so you can travel for FREE. I would begin with Southwest.
Get ahead on goal-setting with Smitten On Paper.
Open a high yield savings account to start earning money passively.
Go on a run outdoors using the Nike Run App.
Take the kids to the park or…
Release the sprinklers in the front yard.
Deep clean the home.
Start that renovation project you keep talking about.
Have a candle-lit dinner.
Soak in a bath with relaxing bath salts.
De-clutter the closet.
De-clutter the pantry and fridge.
Watch the sunset on the porch or balcony.
Write poetry.
Take the dog on a walk, or earn money walking dogs on Rover.
Drive a scenic route.
Call your parents.
Write a letter (to actually mail). Perhaps a birthday card?
Drink coffee without distraction.
Take a nap (A favorite!)
Get a massage (from your child or a spouse).
Play a boardgame.
Start a puzzle.
Meditate with Headspace.
Get food delivered via Dashpass or make money on Dashpass.
Learn a new skill or hobby on Skillshare.
Learn how to monetize a blog.
Make a plan to go zero-waste.
Organize your paperwork and bills. Make a pile for when you can turn on that paper-shredder.
Take care of the plants.
Paint or draw.
Sit and do nothing (also a favorite!)
Build legos.
Give the pet a bath.
Hand wash the car.
Hand wash the clothes. And dishes while you’re at it.
Cuddle with the cat.
Have a bonfire (on the beach or backyard).
Listen to a podcast.

Doesn’t all this sound great? And you get paid to do these things. If anything, I consider these OhmEvents forced mini-stay-cations. If you use my referral link here, you will automatically get $10 credit into your account, just for your good intention. Also, if you live elsewhere, don’t think that you can’t participate. Cutting down on electricity usage also cuts down the bill.

Frugality: Celebrating Quarantine Birthdays with Freebies

Remember in March when we circulated memes about those who had to celebrate their birthdays under social distancing and stay-at-home restrictions? Joke’s on us, we who thought we would escape from such circumstances. By now a third of the population has probably experienced celebrating quarantined.

Characteristics may include gatherings of less than ten, standing awkwardly six feet apart, something that gets in the way of the hugs and kisses more than masks do. Candles on a cake anti-climactically put out by a clapping of hands – as if a child saying “ta-da” after making a wish. Also, gifts running belated as shipping companies struggle to continue working in a safe environment despite an influx of online orders.

I myself had to celebrate a restricted birthday, although how happy was I when restaurants opened up for dine-in during that week? Back to normalcy we go – I was sure of it!

So when I asked my husband a month out what he wanted to do for his July birthday, I was quite surprised when he said he wanted to sign up for rewards programs and run around town picking up freebies.

I thought to myself, “Sounds lame.”

His birthday landed prior to a four day weekend which I happened to have off from work and I was imagining a trip somewhere (local, of course). Or at least a sort of beach activity or party. Perhaps a restaurant reservation with our closest friends?

Lo and behold, when it came to the week of his birthday, all of my would-be plans went straight out the window as California was called to partially shut down once again. Due to the rising numbers of COVID positive patients and upcoming holiday, all beaches were shut down, along with dine-in options at restaurants, movie theatres, and family entertainment options. Turns out, his request to get birthday freebies proved to be the only solidly COVID-proof idea.

I thought to myself, “My husband’s a genius.”

To be honest, it turned out pretty nice. It was a sunny Friday, and we started the morning with free bagels (to-go) and coffee, which we ate at home with my brother and roomie for a late morning breakfast. We all were recovering from hiking Mt. Baldy the day before, so it was one of those restful mornings wherein one rolls around in bed, drags feet across the floor, with nary an obligation to rush you towards the next to-do. You know those mornings that feel like you’re on vacation instead of just sitting at home? Speaking of vacation, I need one of those soon.

For lunch, we headed over to a shopping center that had Jersey Mike’s and The Habit. Jersey Mike’s was giving away whatever free sub you wanted plus a 22 oz. drink, which we took away lidless and straw-less to reduce plastic waste. It is, after all, Plastic-Free July. The Habit was giving birthday celebrants a free burger. Both were wrapped in paper. In the shopping center, there was an outdoor seating area with tables perched ‘neath umbrellas. The tables were spaced out more than six feet apart, with no more than a pair of seats at each table. We plopped ourselves down on cool metal chairs and ate our wins with the first official signs of summer.

In the evening, we had a number of friends meet us at a local park to eat pizza as we sat in a circle on lawn chairs social distancing by household, with an imaginary bonfire in our midst. Excited Santa Anians were shooting fireworks a day early, as mosquitoes bit our legs in the setting sun. It was the first time since February that we’ve seen these faces and it was nice to hear familiar laughs dangling in the night sky. When dusk settled, we packed up our lawn chairs like a bunch of soccer moms and waved our cheerful goodbyes, grabbing left-over pizza boxes and stuffing them in reusable grocery bags.

What’s amazing about the freebies is that they can all be taken to-go and the majority of them last for the rest of the month.

On paper, all of this probably sounds lame. But I can tell you that it was actually extremely fun. I just might do the same next year for the month of June.

For COVID in particular, it was a fool-proof plan to celebrating. If you’ve got a birthday coming up in the next few months, why don’t you try it? Take out and delivery have stood the test of virus and according to a Harvard study, we need to all be prepared to social distance until the end of 2021.

In order to prep for the big day, you should check out a list of Birthday Freebies and sign up for their Rewards program. On your day of birth, each place will email you a coupon or offer with the requirements and the expiring dates.

Below are a few of Mike’s favorites:

Denny’s – Free Grand Slam on the birthday month
Chili’s – Free dessert for the birthday week
Red Robin – Free burger
Sprinkles – Free cupcake, redeemable until the month after your birthday
Auntie Annie’s – Free pretzel, redeemable until two months after your birthday
Wetzel’s Pretzel’s – Free pretzel for downloading the app, and another free pretzel on your birthday
Baja Fresh – Free Burrito (with purchase of beverage) , valid until the month after your birthday
The Habit – Free Charburger, valid for two weeks
Jersey Mike’s – Free Sub and 22 oz. drink
Baskin Robbins – Free ice cream scoop
Ben N Jerry – Free ice cream scoop
Buffalo Wild Wings – Free birthday wings valid until end of the month
BJs – Free Pizookie for signing up for rewards and also for your birthday
Breugger’s Bagels – Free bagel with cream cheese for signing up and also on your birthday
Einstein Bagels – Free bagel egg sandwich with purchase on your birthday
Nothing Bundt Cakes – Free Bundtlet valid for one week

It may not be much to celebrate, these free wins, but it sure is a silver lining. There are some things they still haven’t taken away.

Frugality: For Certain Professionals During COVID-19

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure to learn more.

This post is catered towards a small niche of professionals which include medical doctors, first responders, military personnel and nurses. If you are within these fields, then you have a huge opportunity to practice your frugal muscles during this time! This is largely due to the fact that these professions get extreme discounts, benefits, and, well, FREE STUFF, as a thank you for the work you are doing during COVID-19.

It seems highly unfair that these professionals are all considered “essential” workers who have (for the most part) kept their jobs, and on top of all that, they get additional benefits, too. I am one of those professionals (dentist) and feel a bit guilty about how much “help” we’ve personally gotten out of this situation. Considering that our need is not as large as those of lower income families, it seems unjust that we get even more discounts than they, as well as a higher EDD payout for my husband. It’s true that in the most trying times, the rich get richer. The system isn’t fair, but at the same time, I’m not one to let opportunities pass by. In all honesty, I feel very guilty of trying to make the most financial benefit out of this situation, but I continue to do so in the hopes of digging myself further out of the financial rut – which is my half-a-million dollars of student debt.

I’m writing about this because it was only recently that I discovered how far the benefits go. I learned just yesterday that there was a time where you can order up to 5 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for free, get McDonalds meals for free, and even get Starbucks drinks for free. While those food deals are gone, other deals last until the end of the year, such as 20% off of Sonos, $60 AllBirds, 50% off Nike, 40% off Adidas, and more. On top of retail discounts, phone servicers are giving free monthly subscriptions, apps like Headspace are providing free usage until the end of the year, and even car dealerships are giving discounts on new car purchases or future services. Also, until the end of May, you’ve probably heard that many hotels are providing free lodging across the nation for healthcare professionals. Other than the latter, it remains unclear how the rest of these help with the COVID-19 situation except for the fact that it does provide alleviation for people in the aforementioned fields which is a sign of gratitude that I am grateful for.

So why is this a post about frugality?

Because if you are like me, paying back $575k worth of student debt due to a medical profession of your choosing, then perhaps this could help catapult you financially forward. We’ve done things like get FREE tacos from TacoBell four Tuesdays in a row. We’ve saved our EDD payments and are considering buying a rental property. I think it would behoove a few of us trying to pay loans aggressively to cut out the cell phone bill for at least three months. Of course, we shouldn’t be buying new cars or going shopping exuberantly. Although we are guilty of a bit of that, too…

With the 0% interest rate for student loans, grads trying to aggressively pay back their debt are in a very good situation. Make use of every perk available. To avoid taking credit where it’s due, I would suggest just google searching the list of healthcare discounts available due to COVID-19.

Like I said, I didn’t know of this yesterday. If I had, I would have definitely gotten a McDonalds meal every day and brought my co-workers doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. I am just sharing this here in case you haven’t heard it, too.

10 Ways to Practice Self-Care Without Spending Money

When I first set out to write a piece re: self-care (yet again), my initial thought was to create a curated list of small businesses to support, and let support. In the spirit of being helpful to those who may need it most, I then concluded that perhaps doing so would make a thing as vital as breathing itself unattainable for many, especially at this time.

To commoditize caring for the self as it has been by consumer industries seems suddenly wrong and unaligned with what it was originally created to be – that is, a movement that promoted the under-privileged to care for themselves because… who else would, if not them? Which now, knowing the provenance of the term, makes me quite uncomfortable with turning self-care into something that benefits consumer culture.

In an effort to respectably recognize it’s humble intention, I am now sitting down to write of self-care with a different lens. Self-care doesn’t have to be pampering yourself, as defined by most millennials. It doesn’t require spending money buying things or paying for services. As much as the cosmetic industry would like to make us think that our pores and skin are working against us, or the fashion industry wants us to believe that everything can be cured by a shopping spree, trust me when I say that neither is true and both are baloney.

It’s quite easy to convince someone that happiness lies on the other side of a credit card swipe (especially when that someone is mentally exhausted or extremely stressed from say, oh, work … or a pandemic!) but come on, we’ve all felt it. That uncertainty afterwards that lingers in the back of our mind. A feeling of guilt that our hard-earned dollars went into someone else’s pocket. Or the regret of not choosing to spend “free-time” in our PJs on the couch, rather than going out to treat ourselves to food and drink. Face it – anything that makes you feel like crap afterwards is NOT self-care. It’s an easy hide-under-the-rug kind of care. An avoidance of care, if we are truly being honest. Another thing to add to the to-do list in order to not-do anything about important things.

Well, you get the gist.

So here we go. A tribute to what self-care was originally meant to be.

Make your bed … and other ways to tend to a home (here and here). Something as simple as washing and changing the sheets can be as therapeutic as buying a new bed set, I guarantee, without the stresses of deciding on a new color, where to put the old one, and which of the two you’ll use.
Work on your finances. Taking care of your future self in the form of budgeting and saving is an OG approach to self-care.
Turn off the phone. Set some boundaries.
Take a long bath. There is no need for bath bombs or richly sensuous oils. Just turn on the water, sit in the dark, light a candle, listen to music with no words. Easy does it. I personally dislike baths, but I do like to clean the bath tub as a way to show care.
Nap without guilt. A suggestion to which my roommates laughed because apparently, some people are able to do just that. I always feel guilt and unrest after waking up from a nap – as if I’d wasted precious time. But I am trying to re-learn that sleep is productive in its own right.
Drink plenty of water. If you want to fancify it, add lemon slices or mint sprigs. Speaking of mint, here’s a mixology fact: tapping a stem of mint leaves on the back of your hand makes it more aromatic. Add ice, if it’s all you got.
Write a list of ten things you love about yourself – or what you want to accomplish, or who you care about, etc.
Practice breathing exercises or meditation.
Stretch a few times throughout the day. Body movement is the best way to combat aging. Avoid static postures. Dance, if you must. Like no one’s watching, too – it’s a real mood booster.
Reduce your social media follows. Curate your feed. Much of how you feel is dependent on what you see and who you follow. If you follow athletic people to motivate you to lose weight, but they also make you feel bad about yourself, maybe they aren’t the best follow? Same goes for aesthetic spaces, models, clothing companies – everything that makes you feel like worthiness requires something better, or more.

Of course, you can also just do absolutely nothing. For me, this is the ultimate form of self-care. An activity that takes me a while to get into, it is so much better than any solution you can immediately achieve.

I am sure there are plenty more, none of which requires spending. I’d enthusiastically promote the tabulating of your own personally gratifying self-care activities, and to carry that in your back pocket like arsenal. Because if not you, then who? And if not now, then when?

How to Get Companion Pass for 2020

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I wrote previously about how to travel for free using Southwest. I also alluded to the Companion Pass, which allows you to take someone with you at NO COST, neither in points nor dollars! The Companion Pass is by far our favorite perk for travel hacking. We essentially purchase flights using points for one person and the second person gets to tag along for zilch. When done right, it can last TWO YEARS! You can change your chosen companion thrice a year, like a piece of luggage or carry-on, but with significantly more endearment. How amazing is that?!

How to Get Companion Pass

Getting an elite status of having a Companion Pass requires the accumulation of 110,000 points in one calendar year. The Pass lasts for the rest of the year through the following year after. It is more beneficial to achieve Companion Pass status towards the beginning of the year than in the later part of the year. For example, if you get the Companion Pass in February, you will have 10 months for that year plus an additional 12 months for the following year, summing up to a total of 22 months of privilege! Compare that to getting the Companion Pass in October, which would result in only 14 months of privilege.

The 110,000 points that you’ve accumulated in order to get Companion Pass status goes towards purchasing your future tickets from Southwest Airlines. Even though 110k points sounds like a lot to accrue, it is easily achievable using the credit card sign-up bonuses. It has never been more achievable than now, because for a limited time (until October 16, 2019), the new Southwest Business Performance card comes with an $80,000 sign-up bonus if you spend $5,000 in the first three months! This is the largest sign-up bonus that I have ever seen with Southwest.

How to Get Companion Pass for 2020

Because of this new deal, you can easily reach the 110k points needed by pairing the SW Business Performance card with a SW personal credit card of your choosing. The personal card will give you 40k points in sign-up bonus after you’ve spent $1k in the first 3 months. Together, both credit cards will get you 120k in points, thus reaching the minimum 110k threshold for Companion Pass. It is important to get both sign-up bonuses in the same year, preferably towards the earlier months. The Companion Pass considers when you get the bonus points only, not when you opened the credit card. So if you want to get companion pass for 2020, you can open both credit cards 2 months prior to January and hit the minimum spends IN JANUARY.

Here is a how-to guide for getting Companion Pass

Sign up for the SW Business Premiere CC sometime between now and when the deal ends (October 16, 2019). You want to make use of the 80k sign-up bonus deal. If you miss this time frame, you will only get the standard 60k sign- up, which will not meet the minimum 110k even if you pair it with a personal card.
Plan ahead on how you will spend the 5k minimum spend within the first three months.
Do not spent all 5k in 2019. You want to make sure that you get the sign-up bonus in 2020. For us, we plan to use the credit card for everyday spending, the holiday season, and booking AirBNBs and transportation for our Japan trip in March. We will spend only 4.5k on the credit card, which will give us a healthy buffer that ensures we do not accidentally overspend. In January, we will be spending the first few days of the year on a short trip to celebrate our third wedding anniversary, where we will likely hit the minimum spend.
Sign up for the SW Rapid Reward Plus personal credit card in November or December. I like this one because it has the lowest annual fee ($69) with $900 worth in bonus points, which makes it very worth it! If you would like more perks, applying for another personal credit card at a slightly higher annual fee may be for you. The Points Guy details them well in this chart.
Spend only $500 on this credit card in 2019. The minimum spend is very low ($1000) and you do not want to go over this amount! If you do, you cannot count these points towards 2020. In the first few weeks of January, you can easily spend the $500 on utilities, internet, groceries, and other everyday spending.

Tips on How to Meet Minimum Spends

If you are having trouble reaching minimum spends, here are some ideas:

Pay bills ahead, whether it be utility bills, insurances,.
Buy non-perishables that you will definitely use for the home.
Buy non-perishable staple food from the grocery store.
Purchase big ticket items during this time period.
Book future travel plans.
Offer to buy gifts for friends/family ahead of time.
Offer to pick up the tab for all your friends when you dine out, and then just have them Venmo you their fair share.
Ask friends and family if you could use your credit card to make big ticket purchases for them and have them e-wire you the cost. (Of course, choose your friends and family wisely).

Roadblocks You May Encounter

Being Denied a Business Credit Card: Gone were the days when you could apply for two Southwest personal credit cards. This method was how we got Companion Pass two years ago but alas, it is no longer an available one. They now allow only one personal and one business card. Thankfully, there is still a way! However, qualifying for a business card may be difficult if you do not have a business. Previously, I’ve written about the cons of depending on a single income stream, and credit-card-hacking-made-difficult is one of them. Off course, your life’s work shouldn’t depending on card hackability, although it’s yet another example why multiple modes of earning money could be beneficial. Often times, as reliable as they are, single income streams may lead one down the path of working for another rather than working for the self. Side hustles, however, open way for your own business. Take myself for example. I opened an S-corp for my dental practice which makes ME and MY SKILLS “the business”. My dental office pays Samantha De Leon Tillapaugh DDS, Inc. via a 1099 who then pays myself via a W-2. But even without that, I could also demonstrate my income and spending reports for Aero Bakery. I could demonstrate the dog-sitting business that I’ve grown via Rover, with letters of reference from dog owners. I can demonstrate this blog as a business, listing the affiliate marketing that I’ve entailed as well as the upkeep spending reports. Those are four “businesses” that I could use to justify the loose qualifying terms for a business credit card. Note how none of those have LLCs. I had a friend who got a business credit card from Chase when he detailed a business he wanted to start, indicating why he needed a business credit card to get the business off the ground. There are many creative ways to do this, and side hustles definitely help. If you babysit children, or tutor teens, you can rationalize why you need a business credit card. If you hold creative workshops or cook for others, you can again rationalize a reason. If you do photoshoots for special events or play music as a DJ …. well, you get my drift. Having hobbies turned side hustle can help avoid this pitfall.
Hitting the minimum spend in 2019 – This is definitely not a problem you want to have. Because you apply for the credit card earlier than 2020, you run the risk of hitting the minimum spend the year prior. You definitely do not want to split the sign-up bonuses between two years, because then you will have a very tough time reaching the 110k points. My advice keep track of all spending on the credit card and stop short a few hundred dollars. You can then resume spending on the credit card in January to make sure that both reach the minimum spend in 2020.
Not hitting the minimum spend in 3 months – If you fail to hit the minimum spend in three months, then the benefits of the card that would have outweighed the annual fee would be gone. It would defeat the purpose of travel hacking altogether. Since hitting $5k in 3 months may be difficult for frugalists, check the list above to see how you can actually use that $5k to plan ahead and relieve some of your future spending! However, beware of falling into the habit of spending just to spend. The purpose of the credit cards is not to allow you to buy more than you need. Rather, it is a tool to get you what you want without having to spend money for it (travel!). As always, spend wisely and well below your means.

Frugal Challenge: Practice Minimalism

In my life (as it is now), minimalism came first. By practicing minimalism, everything good in my life fell into place, financial clarity being one of them. Every time I choose a life of less stuff, I enforce a habit of not relying on external stimuli to make me feel whole. I am also deconstructing a fallacy that we were taught from birth, one that says we can buy our way to happiness. Minimalism is, after-all, a modern by-product of Zen teachings on how happiness resides within ourselves and the worlds our minds create. Any external stimuli only prevents us from tapping into our inner state of calm or peace by acting as a distraction from true happiness. Without the material things to distract me, I am able to focus on the more important (non-material things) in my life, such as paying down $575k in student debt! I can confidently say that I would not have been as successful with finding frugality and working towards financial independence without first practicing the art of saying Goodbye, Things.

My frugal challenge for the month of October is to start practicing minimalism. After all, it goes hand-in-hand with frugality. Practicing minimalism can cut down costs in many ways. Here are a few!

LESS SHOPPING, ERGO LESS SPENDING: After you’ve de-cluttered a lot of your items, you will naturally develop a hesitancy with buying something again (unless it’s something you realized you really need or want). The de-cluttering process, when done right, is a tedious process for the average American because of how much stuff we tend to accumulate. I guarantee that once you’ve really pared down, buying things is not as attractive as it once was, which means you will spend less money on shopping.
LESS STUFF MEANS LESS LIVING SPACE: Having less things allow for a smaller home, which usually leads to cheaper rent! Many minimalists find that once they are freed from the burden of material objects, they are suddenly free to live alternative lifestyles, such as pursuing the small space movement! Housing is one of the largest expenses in most people’s budget, so reducing the cost of housing will greatly catapult your path towards financial freedom.
LESS UNNECESSARY SPENDING FOR REPAIRS AND REPLACEMENT. Minimalism is a lesson in being grateful for the things we already have. Because minimalists surround themselves with only their most beloved things, they are more likely to preserve, mend, and fix a broken thing than they are to throw it away and replace it. They aren’t going to buy things for convenience sake and they are more invested in maintenance. Because of this, they save more money.
LESS KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES’S: Minimalists do not participate in keeping up with the Jones’s. In fact, they think the Jones’s are making a dying, rather than making a living. And minimalists prefer to live life rather than work themselves to death in order to buy material goods. And since minimalists do not participate in upward social comparisons, they are not as easily influenced or frequently bombarded by and with advertisements. They aren’t called upon to be consumers. And if they are, the calling is easily ignored. Overall, they don’t spend money in order to keep an appearance. Minimalists save their dollars, preferring to build wealth rather than build social status.
LESS STRESS RELIEF BINGES. When we are stressed, we tend to spend in order to make ourselves feel better. We want to take a vacation to run away from stressful work. We go out to drink during happy hour after a difficult 8-5. We binge on food and eat our misery away. We even have retail therapy. A practice in minimalism leads to more space physically, emotionally, and mentally. Minimalism reduces stress by reducing the external stimuli in our environments. With all this Zen, there is less cost dedicated to stress relief practices.
NO EXPENSIVE FRIVOLOUS EVENTS. Minimalists do not want to celebrate big life events with lavish parties, nor do they want to receive a tower of gifts. What will they do with all of this stuff? I may be speaking for myself, but my ideal celebration involves people and homemade food in a warm setting. I like gatherings in small spaces because you can feel the presence of others and there’s no nooks and crannies to hide in and stare lovingly into your phone. A good example of this was our wedding. We got married in an empty warehouse and the decor was handmade. My father tied gold streamers onto a string, and I made a backdrop for the photobooth area. My aunt collected wild flowers and put them in vases, and Mike’s grandmother made cookies and her famous magic bars. Our friends provided local beer for the reception as their wedding gift. We hired a taco truck and had donuts for desert. I’d imagine the same would go for children’s parties, funerals, graduation, & c. No frivolous events means no expensive events!

These are just a few ways that minimalism can help build a frugal lifestyle. The truth is, minimalism goes a step further than frugality. When I became a minimalist, I reduced the distractions in my life. I honed in on who I was and what made me happy. Because of this recently tapped in energy, I performed better at work and increased my income. I then found a few interests that became side hustles (writing being one of them). This further allowed me to make more money. And as I became happier, I also became less dependent on buying my way to happiness. My work made me happy, and I funneled even more time into my passions. And so the cycle snowballed, and slowly, our debt repayment changed from 25 years to 10 years to 9 year, to 7 years, to hopefully less than 6 years! All because I got rid of my things.

As all minimalists argue, if minimalism involves shedding physical burdens in the form of material possessions in order to be liberated to live the life that really matters, why isn’t is called maximalism? Frugal maximalism.